Deeds of Darkness: the rewrite!

Forum Bulletins	PLF News Channel	Contests
... Enjoying the simple things in life...	News updated on 6/2/10! (Yes, it's been that long...) Australia - Jirachi and the Night Sky's Edge Pokéwalker Course Pokemon Black and White Legendaries PokéPark Wii to be Released in Europe Overview: Generation V Also, check out some screenshots of Pokemon Black and White! Here! And Here!	Guess what, guys! The Pokémon Quiz Game has just started its 9th Round! Yes, the PQG's new manager, Camgreenish, really wants to make this thing frequent! The winner of the fourth banner competition is Nicole! [ Click here to view her work ]

Welcome to Pokelight Forums, an active and expanding Pokémon forum!

Pokelight Forums, commonly abbreviated as PLF, is a community for those who want to become a part of a tight-knit community and just want to talk about anything! The administration, staff, and members here welcome every new member with open arms, no matter who you are or where you come from! We make an effort to make sure you have the best possible social experience here at Pokelight Forums.

Throughout the past year, Pokelight Forums has gained multiple features to maximize the forum-experience for its members, but it's best for you, as a new visitor, to check these features out for yourself.

One of our highlighted features here at PLF is the chatbox, which can be found at the bottom of the forums, or on its very own page! Our server is fast, so you don't have to worry about lagging! We have over 15 fabulous themes to chose from, all made by some of the best theme-makers for ZetaBoards! Also, did we mention we have a brand new TRPG?

You're only one step away from becoming a part of this thriving community! So...
Click Here To Register!
Registering is quick, easy, and it's free!

Want to affiliate with PLF? Click here for more information!

Deeds of Darkness: the rewrite!; First time readers are advised to read this instead of the old version
Topic Started: Jul 17 2009, 01:11 PM (410 Views)
*Hikari*	Jul 17 2009, 01:11 PM Post #1
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	PROLOGUE Prologue A few miles off the Sinnoh west coast, nestled amongst hissing waves and weather-beaten rocks, is an island. It is remotely located near the northern peninsula, where its rocky shore is the only speck of land seen for miles. A constant cloud of black hovers over the landmass, completely blocking out the light from the outside world. It gives the island its name: New Moon Island. Few have ever seen it, and those who dare to venture out in its direction usually don't come back. There used to be an old myth that told about how the evil of the night retreated there so it wouldn't get burned by the sun. But of course, people know better now. What actually lives there is ten times worse: the pokémon Darkrai. Even now, no one knows how Darkrai came to be. There were a few legends, but they were slowly forgotten as time went on. At first the people of Sinnoh overlooked the pokémon, deeming it of little importance. It peacefully lived on its own for a few centuries, until the silent treaty of peace was broken. The people of Sinnoh noticed how their crops were pulled from their roots, how their fences were destroyed, how entire colonies were wiped out by a single attack, and how these things always happened overnight. And so, Darkrai was blamed... January 2nd, 2000 On a chilly winter morning, the president of Sinnoh stood before 50,000 people in one of the most important press conferences of his life. Dr. Berry's eyes surveyed the silent crowd for a few moments, then he picked up his papers and began to speak. An array of microphones amplified his soft voice. “People of Sinnoh. Ladies, gentlemen, and children. As many of you are well aware, we are faced by a threat. And, without proper action, it could turn into a very formidable foe for us. We have received your complaints, and we have received your pleas for action. And I am here to tell you that those calls will be answered. Darkrai will be extinguished.” The crowd stirred at his words. The bright flash of cameras blinded him for a moment, and he could no longer see the gentle falling of snow outside the window. “Mr. President, how exactly do you plan on achieving this?” asked someone from among the crowd, holding up a tape recorder. Its plastic coating gleamed in the light. The world became silent as Dr. Berry prepared for his reply. His gaze flickered down to his papers before he answered. “I have been discussing the matter with the Sinnoh Department of Defense, and we have reached an agreement. Though I will not speak of our plans, I assure you that we have everything under control. In the meantime, you are advised to go about your daily activities, and not trouble yourself with Darkrai.” He could tell that the press was pleased. Reporters stood to applaud him, and there were more flashes of cameras. The rest of the conference went by smoothly, discussing lesser things like the environment issues and taxes. But Sinnoh's main question had already been answered. Within a few months, Darkrai would be dead. ... In the next few days to come, this particular conference will be all over the news. The people of Sinnoh will heed to their president's words, reassured that everything will be all right. And so, life will go on. Peacefully, at first, for just as the President of Sinnoh stepped down from the podium, a shiver ran through the region. The wind direction altered ever so slightly, and the ground gave a slow budge. The change was too subtle to be noticed by humans or pokémon, who paid no attention to the chill in their spines. At that very moment, something was awakened. For the first time in thousands of years, it was... alive.



darkpersian479	Jul 20 2009, 12:46 PM Post #2
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	Once again, I like the new prologue. Mysterious, suspenseful, and it has a way of drawing the reader in and shows the great promise these rewrites have:) I can't wait to read more, especially when a certain math nerd makes her debut:)



*Hikari*	Aug 4 2009, 07:09 PM Post #3
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 1! “Buneary, use Jump Kick!” These words still rang in Sadie's ears as she watched the Buneary crouch down onto the ground, preparing for a jump. Its beady brown eyes glinted like the eyes of its trainer, Rena. She stood fifty yards away, posed with a hand on her hip, smiling as her pokemon acted on her orders. Half a second later, Sadie blinked. Buneary was no longer there. All she could see was a blur of brown hurling towards her at breakneck speed, dispersing the blades of grass. Buneary's spring was weightless, and carried it several yards into the air where it carefully took its aim. Sadie's Luxio stood firmly by her side, its large yellow eyes glazed and unfocused. Its slender blue tail flicked back and forth lazily, almost as if it knew that this was just another battle. A trip to the Pokemon Center would follow soon afterward, just like it always had... Sadie bit her lip.“Come on Luxio, you can do it! Quick, dodge the attack!” Her words were shaky and forced, just like her determination. Luxio's pointed ears flicked backward, catching the sound of her voice. But the rest of its body remained still. Through her eyelashes Sadie saw Buneary descend to the ground, a speeding bullet. She felt the world slowly blur before her. But then... Bolts of white electricity began to gather from within the spiky tufts of fur, a deep-throated growl mixed in with their crackling. It took Sadie a few moments to comprehend what was happening. We just might pull it through this time... Sadie wrapped a black strand of hair around her finger. “Come on, there's still a chance! Don't give up!” Sadie shouted, speaking more to herself than to Luxio. And just like that, the two pokemon collided. Luxio didn't even have time to fire a single bolt. The force of Buneary's kick sent it flying, and finally landing, at Sadie's feet. Luxio lay still for a moment, then began to twitch. She cupped her hand over her mouth as her scarred pokemon struggled to get up. How could Luxio survive that? Sadie was too stunned to speak. “Buneary, use Quick Attack!” Before Sadie could look up, Buneary was already running. “No!” The involuntary cry had barely escaped her lips as Buneary knocked into Luxio full-force. It began circling it, throwing fast kicks and hard punches.. Sadie watched in horror as a dazed Luxio tried to locate Buneary, but was unable to single it out in the tornado of grass and gravel it was picking up. The final punch threw Luxio a few feet into the air, then finally hurled it towards the ground. The battle was over. “Oh, Luxio!” Sadie said aloud as she rushed to her fallen pokemon. She lifted Luxio up into her arms, took the PokeBall out from her pocket, and watched as Luxio's red outline disappeared inside the capsule. Sadie sighed, holding the PokeBall at eye level. There goes another loss... it's your fault Luxio. You didn't listen to my command. No, it's not your fault, it's mine. I barely even said anything... Sadie sighed, for she had heard it all before. Every since she was young, pokemon never seemed to listen to her commands in battle. And, coming from a family of coordinators, that was almost disgraceful. Her mother had always tried to cheer her up with comments like “Don't worry, sweetie. You did your best!” but over the years they began to lose their effect. Sadie had always dreamed of living up to her grandmother's reputation of being one of the top 50 in Sinnoh and Hoenn, or at least have her contest pokemon's photograph hanging in Hearthrome. Her grandmother always told her that to become a coordinator you needed three things. “Pokemon that love and trust you, an unshakable desire to be a coordinator, and you must learn how to take risks.” Well, I'm almost certain that I have the first two things... but what about the third? Why? Why can't Luxio just listen? Shaking her head in dismay, Sadie finally dropped the PokeBall into her purple backpack. “Hey, good game!” someone called from behind. Sadie turned to see Rena walking towards her, slinging her tote bag over her shoulder. Strands of orange hair were sticking out of her ponytail and her cheek was slightly smudged, but her lips were pulled back into the widest of grins. Buneary skipped happily along by her side, its large ears bouncing to the rhythm of its footsteps. According to her parents, Sadie was the complete opposite of her best friend. In their eyes it was a good thing, since she usually stayed out of trouble. But Rena possessed the very thing Sadie longed for- the power to influence others. Rena noticed Sadie's dilemma with commanding pokemon, so she decided to help out. During the school year they didn't have as much time to battle, but now that summer vacation was once again upon them, they had more time to spend together. Rena's training sessions were supposedly free of charge, but Rena asked Sadie to lend her some money when she's a millionaire. Sadie had laughed along to that joke, secretly not sure if she would ever get that far. And with this loss, her goal seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her. “You actually did a lot better this time, Sadie,” Rena said as she took out Buneary's PokeBall. The rabbit pokemon vanished into the capsule with a flash of laser red. “You think?” Sadie replied, honestly surprised. “Uh, duh! Did you see Luxio getting ready for that Spark?” Rena giggled. Sadie shrugged. “I don't know... I think he just got scared or something. I told him to dodge the attack, not to use Spark...” Rena imitated Sadie's one-shoulder shrug. “Well, at least he did something. I remember our first battle! He totally - ” “Fell asleep, I know.” Sadie giggled, blushing from the memory. “Do you remember how we first met? You told everyone that your mother gave you a Steelix for your first day of kindergarten! And I confronted you and said that I didn't believe you.” “Yeah, and we got into an argument over a bunch of crayons, and you started crying when I challenged you,” Rena laughed. “And when we battled after school, I found out that you didn't have a Steelix, you were still using your mother's Stunky!” “Yeah, my mom got really mad at me for that! She made me sit outside for an hour to 'think about what I had done'.” “And I saw you outside!” Sadie finished. “And we completely forgot that we had been arguing in school, and you asked me if you wanted to pull a prank on your mom. And we've been friends ever since!” “Yup,” Rena smiled. Sadie turned away for a moment, and surveyed their battlefield with a cringe. What was once a simple, lush meadow now looked as if a bulldozer had gone through. Most of the grass was trampled, and there was a large empty patch where Luxio's Spark had hit. The sidewalk was littered with dirt and debris from Buneary's Quick Attack, and the strip of white fence to Sadie's left was smeared with dirt. The potted plants that once stood in a neat row beside it were knocked over, their contents spilled on the sidewalk. “Whoever owns those is gonna be mad! Let's get out of here,” Rena sighed. “Way to go, Rena. I told you that battling here would be a bad idea!” Sadie exclaimed, pulling on her hair.. “If my mom finds out...” “Aw, forget about that! No one is gonna care. The idiot who decided to put up a garden in Route 202 is, well... an idiot!” “Okay, fine, but we should at least clean up a li-” BANG! The sudden roar of thunder sent shivers down Sadie's spine. She looked up slowly at the sky. It had been a light, warm gray only moments ago, but was now darkening rapidly. A group of storm clouds was gathering a few miles north, where Jubilife City was. She felt something cold drop on her cheek. “Aw no, it's raining!” Rena shouted, wiping her tote bag. “My mom will kill me if I get this wet! And I mean kill! She thinks this is real leather!” “But it's not,” Sadie cocked an eyebrow. “That's not what Mr. Henley said. He just wanted to get an extra buck out of her! Damn, this is why you should never trust garage sales... I swear, you and me, we'll egg his house one day.” Sadie couldn't help but laugh. “Maybe we will. But right now, we have to get back to Sandgem before it starts pouring! Let's go,” she said, picking up her lumpy backpack. It was nearly weightless, the only objects inside being two PokeBalls, and a notebook. Sadie didn't pack an umbrella however, which she began to regret as the drops of rain became more frequent. The two girls walked briskly down the path, trying to outrun the oncoming storm. The trees surrounding them bent and twisted in the strengthening wind, and the girls were soon forced into a sprint as the rain began to pour. Sadie's backpack, which had been hoisted onto her head to shield her from the rain, wasn't doing much good anymore. Strands of long hair were sticking to her face and neck like slimy worms, and she frequently had to stop and wipe them off of her eyes. It was times like these that made her jealous of Rena's short hair, which could easily be tamed with a headband. Her sneakers were heavy with water, and made a sloshing sound every time her foot was brought down onto the slippery pavement. On top of it all, the wind was howling so ferociously that Sadie could barely hear her own words. “This is so weird!” she shouted. “The weather guy – said – nothing – about – a ... storm!” “I know!” came Rena's reply. “The weather guy's – probably a – phony!” “No – it can't be – him! The weather – never – changes – this – fast – around here!” “LOOK, I really don't care why the weather's like this!” Rena's voice was strained. “I just wanna go HOME! And my mom's bag is RUINED! Gaah!” Another roar of thunder rippled through the sky, this time louder and definitely closer. Whatever had been going on over by Jubilife had finally reached them. Suddenly, with a loud snap a thick branch broke off of a tree and fell down, missing the two girls by an inch. Sadie screamed and pulled on Rena's sleeve. “My gosh, this is like a hurricane!” Rena shouted. Sadie was too stunned to speak. Through the thick trees, she began to see the tips of blue roofs and the flickering lights of streetlamps. They grew bigger and bigger, until they were finally running through the familiar streets of Sandgem Town. When they got to Sadie's house, a cozy two-floor, she could see only one light that was on: in the living room. My mom's probably so worried about us! Sadie bit her lip as they climbed the stone steps. “We're here!” the girls shouted in unison, pounding on the door. The door was opened by Regina, Rena's mother. Her eyes narrowed as she gave the girls a quick once-over. She made no comment about the tote bag, which Rena had cleverly hidden behind her back. “Katherine, they're home,” she called over her shoulder. Sadie recognized her tone immediately. This wasn't going to be fun. The girls were led into the living room, where the television was tuned in to the weather channel. A remote control silenced the reporter's frantic words, and Sadie's mother rose from the couch. After a long, painful silence, she spoke. “Where... were you girls?” “I... uh... we were just... battling...” “Good gracious, battling? When there's a tornado outside that's destroying half of Jubilife City as we speak, you girls are battling?” “Whoa whoa whoa! That was a tornado?” Rena exclaimed. “There are never tornadoes in the South!” “That's what got us so worried about you girls,” Regina finished. “You could have been killed!” Sadie's mind immediately flashed back to the falling branch, and she swallowed a mound of bile. “Well we weren't!” Rena countered. Sadie nodded in agreement, though she knew that it wouldn't make much of a difference. “Rena, I'll let your mother decide what she wants to do with you, but Sadie is forbidden from leaving this house alone!” Sadie gasped. “What? Mom, come on!” “Don't try to worm your way out of this! Sadie, do you know how dangerous - ” “Katherine, please!” Regina said, finally turning away from the girls. “Don't you think the girls had enough for one day?” She leaned forward and whispered something to Katherine. A few moments later, both women turned to their daughters. Katherine stepped forward. “Girls, go upstairs to Sadie's room. Rena, you'll spend the night here -” “All right, sleepover!” Rena grinned at Sadie. “- but you two are to immediately go to bed! And I mean it. No talking after the lights go out. Okay? And leave your wet shoes by the door. I don't want them all over the carpet.” Rena's smile faded into a scowl. Sadie sighed in a what-can-you-do sort of way as they both took off their wet shoes. Sadie wiggled her numb toes and wrung her hair dry. When she and Rena were well up the stairs, the whispering resumed. The mothers were well out of earshot, and Sadie could make out little of their conversation. “I wonder what they're talking about,” she said to Rena. Her friend simply shrugged. “Beats me.” The girls did not speak for the rest of the night. After they brushed their teeth, Sadie took out a spare sleeping bag out of the closet for Rena, then got into her own bed. Listening to the steady plip plop of rain on the window, Sadie quickly drifted into unconsciousness. ... A few miles away, well beneath the crags and craters of Mt. Coronet, a small military squad was finishing its dinner in the confines of an empty cafeteria. The soldiers sat at metal tables and leaned over plastic trays, their brown and green uniforms standing out against the pale color of the walls. The environment overall was a quiet one, since most of the room's attention was directed towards a large TV monitor hanging directly above the food line. Usually this monitor displayed what the men referred to as 'The Military Channel', which was an exclusive channel that displayed statistics, important meetings with the president, and detailed maps that would help them with their missions. But it was none of these that were displayed on this night; instead the TV had been tuned to the Sinnoh Weather Channel, where a bald reporter was doing a frantic live coverage of a storm. Almost everybody in the room seemed engrossed by this report, talking in hushed voices so as to not talk over the weatherman. Even the lunch servers that were on duty had paused in their tasks, spaghetti sauce dripping off their ladles as they watched. The only person who was visibly not watching the TV was Dalton, a man in his late twenties. He sat at a table in the center, in full view of the monitor, but his gaze remained on his plate of uneaten food. “Seriously Dalton, are you gonna just sit there staring at that apple or are you going to share?” Bret chuckled after a few minutes of silence. Without hesitation, Dalton pushed his tray over to his friend. “I'm not hungry today,” he shrugged. “Suit yourself...” Bret said, swallowing a spoonful of his spaghetti. Dalton cringed as the watery noodles disappeared into his puckered lips. Only a month has passed since he had been assigned to Squad 6 – one of twelve special squads stationed across Sinnoh. Only soldiers with at least ten years of experience would be assigned to them, so of course Dalton would be picked. He, including Bret, had been in the Sinnoh Armed Forces since the age of sixteen, though they had started out with much smaller jobs. The years went by pretty quickly, with many broken bones. And suddenly, Dalton found himself involuntarily placed in a special operations group whose goal was to capture and kill Sinnoh's most wanted - Darkrai. Just as their squad commander, Hart, kept repeating daily: 'You men are doing this region a service! And you better darn be proud of it!” If that's so, then would it be too much of a hassle to give us better food? Dalton thought as he watched Bret devour a chunk of bread. A long gap in their conversation soon followed, allowing Dalton to direct his attention to the TV, where a darkening sky was shown from a shaky camera. The tornado was a thick funnel that dropped down to the earth, as black as the sky itself. A thick cloud of dust spun around its bottom, making it almost impossible to see what was going on in that patch of land. “... currently in Jubilife City. While the source of this tornado is still unknown, it has grown stronger since it was first sighted near Route 203. Its winds are currently at speed of 160 miles per hour, and are predicted to reach 200 miles per hour by ten o'clock. Residents of nearby areas are urged to stay in their homes, preferably in a room with no windows. If anybody is injured, dial 911 immediately. This tornado has been predicted to go through Sandgem Town and Twinleaf Town, but you are advised to stay in your shelters until the end of the storm is announced. Stay tuned for more live coverage...” “That tornado is gonna make a mess of the city,” Bret said, his voice lacking any particular emotion. “Good thing we're underground, eh?” He chuckled to himself. “Yeah. It's a shame, though, with people losing their homes and stuff... I never did get to visit the TV station either,” Dalton laughed along. A gradual silence fell upon them as Dalton watched the TV, ignoring the sound of Bret eating. The reporters had been talking nonstop for an hour, and by their tone of voice, things weren't getting any better. Dalton watched as a tree was sucked into the swirling vortex. “Man, this sucks...” he murmured absentmindedly, yawning. “What do you mean?” Bret asked between bites of bread. Dalton jumped, suddenly aware that he had been speaking out loud. “Uh... sorry, what?” “What 'sucks'?” Bret looked at him quizzically, pausing in his meal. Dalton ran his fingers through his unkempt blond hair. “I don't know... have you ever just gotten the feeling that this whole thing is a waste of time?” At this, Bret raised an eyebrow. “I'm still not following, dude.” Dalton puffed out his cheeks. “Just this entire Darkrai thing. I really don't think we're gonna get anywhere with this. How long has it been, a month? Seriously, Darkrai hasn't been sighted since we started. I would bet anything that Darkrai finally got a brain, and left.” Bret shrugged, returning his attention to his food. “Well, what can you do? At least sitting around doing nothing is better than being sent on a life-threatening mission,” he said nonchalantly. Dalton chuckled. “Yeah, that's really pissing off the commander. He loves it when we bust our backs...” Almost by instinct, Dalton's eyes scanned the crowd for Commander Hart. “Speaking of which... where is the guy?” “No clue. He was right by the food line a few minutes ago... maybe he died.” Suddenly, Bret gasped. “My birthday wish came true!” The two men burst into laughter, their voices louder than usual. A few soldiers looked up in annoyance, but their interest gradually went back to the TV monitor. Dalton's gaze once again fell on the TV, and what he saw shocked him. The black storm clouds that had spiraled into a tornado were now gone, replaced by a thick gray sky. Most of the eastern part of the Jubilife was ravaged by the tornado. The western section however, was still sound and whole. Dalton leaned in closer to get a better view. It was nearly impossible for him to make out the reporter's words through the static and sound of pouring rain. “... simply incredible! What could have been the most powerful storm in Sinnoh has mysteriously vanished, moments after sweeping East Jubilife. As you can see, towards the left, the city's completely destroyed. The storm was predicted to go through Sandgem and Twinleaf, along with their respective routes. But just before it reached the heart of Jubilife City, it exhausted itself out. This mysterious event was not captured on camera, but witnesses say they saw it dissolve into nothingness just before it reached their homes. The weather station is still getting a tremendous amount of phone calls about the incident. The authorities have not yet declared it safe to leave your homes, and you are advised to avoid any electrical appliances until a rescue crew has arrived to clean up...” “Whoa, did you see that?” Dalton said to Bret, who had been munching on chips the whole time. “What?” He twisted around to face the monitor. “Whoa...” he said after a few seconds, then turned back to face Dalton. “So the tornado's really gone? Just like that? That's not normal...” Dalton was about to reply, but was distracted by the sound of a door slamming. He turned to find Commander Hart standing in the doorway, his face contracted in a grimace that he was famous for. He whispered something into his walkie-talkie, then turned to face the room, which had fallen silent upon his entry. All eyes were on him. “All right men, dinner is over! Everybody is to head back to the barracks immediately!” The room was suddenly abuzz with the clatter of trays and shuffling feet as the men got up from their tables. Dalton and Bret rose together, tossing out the remainder of the food in a nearby trash can. The cafeteria was connected to the rest of the base by a series of wide tunnels. Dalton had always described them as stuffy, and found the flickering of fluorescent lights immensely annoying. But tonight he was too exhausted to care. All questions and worries about the tornado had been left behind upon his exit, leaving only one urge – get to bed. The heated conversation about the storm had already ceased to interest Dalton, the voices of his fellow soldiers fading as he struggled to keep his eyes open. The last drop of rain fell at midnight, long after the squad had drifted off to sleep. By then, the storm had finally reached its end. Or was it really just the beginning of a new one?



darkpersian479	Aug 8 2009, 09:25 AM Post #4
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	O.M.G. I cannot believe the level of improvement that you have made this time around. The little added conversations, the reminiscing of past times - it really helps to bring out the characters of both Sadie and Rena that much more. The opening battle was much more detailed as well. I am very much looking forward to seeing your rewritten chapters as well as the continuation in the other thread:) Excellent job!



*Hikari*	Aug 8 2009, 11:01 AM Post #5
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Hey, thanks for stopping by! I spent hours on this chapter, and I'm glad all my hard work has been rewarded Unfortunately, I've been really picky on this chapter and decided to fuse Chapters 2 and 1. This probably won't make sense until I have both of them up, but I'm probably going to add Dalton's intro to Chapter 1, immediately after Sadie and Rena. I'm almost done with this, so I'll just edit my post here when I'm done.



*Hikari*	Aug 30 2009, 12:17 PM Post #6
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 2 The members of Squad 6 left the base camp early the next morning, while the lazy sun still hovered over the horizon. The heat of the day had not settled in yet, leaving the air cool and fresh. The soldiers marched in perfect synchrony, wet soil crunching as it gave way beneath their boots. Guns were clutched tightly against the left side of the body, and eyes stared straight ahead. If it had been any other way, the unlucky soldier would soon be forced to regret it. Commander Hart had watchful eyes and a tendency to give out unfair punishments. It was risky to sneak even a yawn, regardless of what row you were in, and Dalton was surprised when he felt Bret nudge his shoulder. “What?” he whispered, slightly annoyed. His voice blended in with the sound of rustling leaves, and he wasn’t sure if Bret had heard him. A few seconds later came his reply. “I think I know why they’re sending us to Route 203!” he said. “What?” Dalton repeated, risking a turn of the head as a flock of Starly few by. “I know why we’re going to Route 203!” “Why?” “They spotted Darkrai there. I overheard Hart talking about it with the General.” “I heard that we’re doing cleanup duty!” said Harvey , a dark-haired man who stood on Bret’s left side. “Those people have totally lost their minds! Why would we need guns for cleanup duty?” “We are cleaning! We’re doing pest control!” said a second soldier on Dalton ’s right. “Now shut up or he’ll hear us!” “Who’s that talking back there?” came a gruff voice from somewhere in the front. Oh great… Dalton thought with a grimace. The squad came to a halt. All heads turned to the fourth row. The man next to Dalton shifted uneasily under the stares of his comrades, but held his tongue. Nobody ever confessed to Commander Hart. For a few minutes, the only sound that could be heard was the faint rustle of leaves. With each passing second the tension grew, until Commander Hart finally spoke. “So… nobody knows who was talking… I should have expected as much from this bunch of little girls. If it happens again, you’re all doing push-ups! March!” That’s weird… Dalton thought. Usually he’d make us all do a hundred for something like that… Dalton could feel the nervousness emanate from the rest of the squad. He exchanged questioning glances with Bret, who appeared to be just as confused as he was. Nobody dared to break form for the remainder of the march. They passed through the rest of the town and through the rocky interior of the Oreburgh Gate. At exactly 9:00, they stood before the tattered remains of Route 203. Only then did somebody say “Whoa!” The dirt path ended here, so it seemed. Almost everything before them was covered with twigs and dried leaves, and the only hints of a path were patches of displaced dirt scattered here and there. A sign stood off to the side, the board hanging from its support by a thin strand of wood. The surface was scarred and weathered, but the words were still visible: ROUTE 203. Its ruined state represented that of the route it labeled. Dalton had been to this particular route many times in his life, and found his mouth hanging open at the sight. The trees that once bordered the route now lay on the ground in a heap of splintered logs. Their absence left a gaping hole in the horizon, exposing miles of bare, twisted land. The towering city of Jubilife was visible far off in the distance. Dalton's gaze lingered on the city, and he raised his arm so that it was at eye level, blocking out everything except for a tall city against a painted sky. The glass windows of buildings reflected the weak sunlight and scenery below. It was a peaceful sight, and for a moment, Dalton forgot the destruction that lay below. His mind began to trail off for a moment, then a loud, scratchy voice brought him back to reality. “... station to Commander Hart...” it said, and Commander Hart raised his walkie-talkie. “This is Commander Hart,” he said into the mouthpiece. “We have received word of ---- and ------ ------ ---- the route...” Frequent outbursts of static interrupted the man's speech, making his words nearly incomprehensible. “What was that?” Commander Hart said, this time louder. “I can barely hear you!” He pulled the radio's antenna out to its full length. “I said to ------ -------- agh! This static is too ------ I can't hear -------” “I can't hear you either! Dammit! Battery's probably dead.” Commander Hart clipped the walkie-talkie back onto his belt and turned back to his squad. “Now, you're all probably wondering why you're here. The answer is very simple: to clean up after the storm. You are to collect all the small things like branches and break apart big things like logs, so when the truck comes the workers won't bust their backs. Any questions?” “But why do we need our guns - ” Harvey began, but the Commander silenced him with a mere lift of his hand. “You ask me that every single time, Dawson! Doesn't that big mouth of yours ever get tired? I want fifty pushups, right here and now!” Harvey hesitated, then knelt to the ground. “Yessir...” he mumbled. Dalton felt sympathy for Harvey as he watched the soldier lower himself to the ground, and push himself back up with trembling arms. Harvey was one of the newer additions to the squad, and was not yet used to the Commander's brutal ways. About fifty grunts later, Dalton heard the buzz of Commander Hart's walkie-talkie. “This is Commander Hart,” he answered at once. There was no static this time, and the man's words were perfectly clear. “Get out of the route! Get out of there now!” he said. There was a frantic edge to his voice, and Dalton felt a chill run through his body. “What? Why?” Commander Hart said. “Hello?” The red light near the antenna went out as the walkie-talkie turned off. Commander Hart stared at it for a few moments, then clipped it back to his waist. In the squad, nobody moved. Even Harvey had stopped doing his pushups, and was now dusting off his pants. Commander Hart let this go unnoticed, and his eyes scanned the faces of his men. “Should we leave or not, Commander?” Bret spoke up. Commander Hart crossed his arms. “Bah! Probably just another alternate mission... But who am I to defy the 'higher' authority? Harvey, you'll resume your pushups when we return. March!” With much mumbling the soldiers all turned around, neat rows fragmenting into a disorganized cluster. For little more than a second, Dalton's eyes alighted on the rising sun. Then everything became dark. A shadow, a black void, had descended upon them in the blink of an eye like the falling curtains of a stage. It encased the squad on all sides, blacking out everything around them except the grass on which they stood. Their surroundings emitted an eerie glow, illuminated by an unseen light source. Dalton didn't even have time to scream. A twisting hole appeared in the fabric of the void, and through it passed Darkrai. Its form, hazy and distorted at first, became more and more pronounced as it drew nearer. Its body was entirely black, and for a second, it seemed to be nearly one with the shadows. A vertical veil of white billowed around its head, and round its neck hung a red necklace that glowed with a bloody hue. Centuries of cold, silent hatred were trapped behind a single blue eye. They penetrated deep into Dalton's brown ones, sending shivers down his spine. Dalton's grip tightened on his rifle. “It's Darkrai! Shoot, shoot!” yelled the Commander, and a chorus of thunderous gunshots followed. Dalton pointed and fired, the force of the blast nearly making him stumble. But just as the bullet was about to meet its target, it passed through the pokémon as if it were made of air. Only then did the true danger of the situation dawn upon him. “WHAT?!? The bullets just pass through!” another soldier's cries echoed his own thoughts. The vertical pupil turned. Darkrai raised a slender arm, and a ball of black matter materialized between twitching fingers. The attack was fired in a fraction of a second and was now speeding towards them. “Move!” Dalton lunged to the side to avoid the oncoming Shadow Ball. The soft material of his vest gave a bounce to his fall. Dalton heard two more bodies crash beside him. “We're not gonna make it! This thing is unstoppable! We're totally unprepared!” Harvey's voice sounded. “Shut up, Harvey! We'll find a way to get out of this!” yelled Bret. “But the bullets just pass right through!” “SHOOT, SHOOT!” Commander Hart yelled. “Why is he telling them to shoot? The bullets have no effect!” Dalton lifted his head to get a better view. Commander Hart was standing at the back of a disorganized squad, pointing a menacing finger to the floating Darkrai. A few men obeyed his orders, but most were running away. Those who weren't so lucky now lay in motionless heaps, the grass around them blackened and smoking. “Why is he telling them to shoot? The bullets have no effect!” Dalton hissed. “It doesn't matter right now, let's just get outta here!” Bret said, and Dalton rose to his feet. He held onto his gun, even though he knew it wouldn't do any good. “Go!” he shouted, and the three began to run. Dalton risked a backward glance, and realized that Commander Hart had been watching them. “What the...? Where are you going? Get back here NOW! That's an order! ROGERS, SANDERS, DAWSON! DO YOU HEAR ME?” Seeing Harvey's grimace, Dalton nudged his shoulder. “Run, just run!” Harvey remained silent, but did not slow. The black edges of the enclosure neared. “NO!” the sudden cry forced Dalton into a halt. He turned back, and saw Darkrai preparing for its next, biggest attack. Black and red matter swirled angrily within a large disc. It began to expand, until it extended far beyond Darkrai's armspan. An unexplainable wind picked up, forcing the blades of grass to bow away from the pokémon. Its eye glinted with satisfaction as the disc broke, blasting and twisting through the meadow with a force so strong, the very air seemed to thin. It swept through the meadow, knocking the men down like bowling pins. Dalton shuddered as he saw Commander Hart, usually so tough and strong, be swallowed by the torrent of red and black. The final waves of the attack ebbed a few feet away from where Dalton stood, Bret and Harvey shaking beside him. A black haze lifted then faded, exposing what was left of the squad. Dalton felt something break inside of him as he beheld the motionless bodies of his former comrades. Every year they had spent together in Squad 6 seemed golden to him. Every silly request, every brutal command, they had survived together. And just like that, the gold was gone. All Dalton could feel now was... black. Darkrai had paused in firing, apparently satisfied with its work. Its eye scanned the area for any signs of survivors, then locked on the three men. Dalton felt a chill creep through his body, and he braced himself for the attack. But it did not come. Instead Darkrai was now gliding over to them, grass rippling from the slight gale it left behind. “Is it gonna spare us?” Bret whispered. “I don't know, man, maybe it wants to kill us personally...” Harvey shuddered. Dalton opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Darkrai descended until its eye was level with theirs. Its gaze was hypnotizing, and Dalton felt his grip slacken on his rifle. Darkrai held its gaze, and for a moment, the silence of the world was broken by a whisper. The voice was quiet, yet it echoed within the walls of Dalton's mind. Sleep, human... sleep... Darkrai's will was overpowering, like a hammer pounding on a rusty nail. Dalton felt a great weight force him down to the ground. His knees met the soft grass, then his arms, then his cheek. Behind his eyelids, all he could see was black. Black... Black... Red... ... White. Pink. Yellow. Green. And then, he was being pulled upwards on a roller coaster. Then downwards. Then nowhere at all. Dalton felt as if he were slowly coming to from a long, long dream. In the distance, he could see the blurred outlines of trees. They were indistinct at first, then became more and more clear until Dalton found himself lying on cold soil, facing upwards towards a thick canopy of palm trees. The forest was silent, but he felt a strange sense of presence... From somewhere far away, a pokémon let out a soft cry. Dalton couldn't make out what it was saying, but he suddenly became aware of something heavy in his pocket. And everything was gone.



darkpersian479	Aug 30 2009, 06:08 PM Post #7
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	This version is greatly improved over the previous one. I like the sense of confusion and fear among the troops as they march toward their destination without really knowing all the details. Oh, and Commander Hart reminds me of my old summer camp counselor:/ XD Also notable is how you slowly build the tension. The soldiers see the route in shambles, and it only makes them more fearful of what lies ahead. And then... Darkrai descends. I really like the effect here, as its shadow eclipses and envelopes the platoon before it makes its full form visible. It's described in excellent, horrifying detail, and the fear and desperation of the troops is also well described. I believe I mentioned this in the original, but at this point I'm thinking there's something special about Dalton - some reason why his life was spared, and some reason why he found himself holding this mysterious object... Well, needless to say, it was suspenseful, and I'm wanting to find out what happens next:) Well done!



*Hikari*	Aug 30 2009, 06:14 PM Post #8
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Quote: This version is greatly improved over the previous one. I completely agree. Let's not forget my old description: Quote: Sure enough, Dalton could see a pitch black pokemon up in the sky. 1337, right? Right? Anywys, I'm glad you liked my chapter! Chapter 3 will be less action-y, I'm afraid But I'm working on it as fast as I can! Expect Chapter Whatever (Old fic >:0... I forgot the number!) soon.



*Hikari*	Sep 26 2009, 05:07 PM Post #9
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 3 By Saturday, most of the hype about the tornado had died down. The media hung on to the subject for a good week, bringing new theories about the storm's mysterious disappearance and riveting tales told by eye witnesses. But eventually the public lost interest, agreeing that Sinnoh simply got 'lucky'. Without a fresh story, news reporters were forced to go back to lesser things like supermarket scandals and political talk shows. Sandgem Town and its surrounding routes weren't greatly affected by the tornado and, except for the occasional fallen tree, cleanup was easy. Roads were restored to working order and shops reopened. Sadie's neighborhood had lost power for a few days, during which she was forced to sit idly in her house. But eventually, that too was fixed. The following Tuesday morning found the two girls sitting in Rena's living room, watching a game show titled 'Who's that Pokémon?' The show featured nine contestants, all of which were given clues as to what pokémon was behind the red curtain. The only catch was that the clues were very vague, and contained information few people would know. The program was already three hours in. During that time, three contestants had been eliminated and the snack bowl's supply of potato chips had been replaced twice. Sadie was beginning to sink into the too-soft sofa, and Rena was constantly interrupting with loud groans and shouts of 'You idiot!' whenever someone got a question wrong. It was Sadie who decided to finally break the monotony of it all. “Rena, let's just face it. There is nothing good on TV today. We've been watching this show for hours, and this dude still can't figure out that that's a Chimchar behind the curtain.” Rena opened her mouth to reply, but her train of thought was apparently broken. She turned to Sadie with a quizzical expression. “How do you know it's a Chimchar?” “Because the host said 'Its body is small, but agile. The fire on its tail will never go out.' How many pokémon have fire on their tails and are small but agile?” “I don't know!” In one swift motion, Rena jumped to her feet and landed facing Sadie. “I'm sick of watching TV too, but there's just nothing else! And our parents are both at work, so they can't drive us anywhere...” Rena trailed off at her last few words, seemingly lost in thought. She emerged from the minute-long silence with an expression Sadie knew too well. “Sadie...” she began slowly, thin lips forming a smile. “I have an idea!” “Rena, you and I both know what your ideas usually mean: big trouble. Remember what happened last time? At Lake Verity?” “But that wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know that that Bidoof belonged to someone?” “All right, all right, just tell me your idea and I'll decide if I want to do it or not.” “It's a surprise!” Rena teased. “But you'll need your bike. Let's go.” Rena turned off the TV and made for the front door where she laced up a weathered pair of sneakers. With a few moment's hesitation, Sadie went to join her. She slipped on her flip-flops and followed Rena outside, making sure to close the door behind her. The sudden rush of heat left a burning sensation on Sadie's bare shoulders. She could feel the harsh sun on her skin, even through her tank top. “I hate it when its hot like this,” Rena mumbled over the crunch of their footsteps. “It makes me want to fall on the ground and go to sleep.” “I know, right?” Sadie sighed. “If our parents were home, we could've asked them to take us to the beach...” “We'll go by ourselves once we get back.” “Back from where, Rena? Why won't you just tell me?” “I told you, it's a surprise! Just get your bike and meet me at my house.” The rustle of grass faded as Rena ran off. Sadie rounded the corner of her house and approached the garage door. It was operated by a keypad, in which Sadie entered the code to her house. The door began to groan and screech as it was pulled open, and the interior Sadie's garage was revealed. Sadie entered the rubble and emerged with a dirty red bike. The seat was torn and the spokes were slightly rusty, but a bike was a bike. Sadie felt a tinge of jealousy as she saw Rena in the distance, mounting a much cleaner green one. “Come on, Sadie!” she waved, and pedaled off. “Route 202 away!” “Wait, Rena!” Sadie called, rushing to mount her bike. The pedals turned slowly at first, but Sadie was soon zooming along the road as easily as Rena was. Her friend was a good few yards ahead, her form vanishing behind passing branches. By then, Sadie had given up all attempts to worm their destination out of Rena, and decided to just go with the flow, but still paid close attention to the 'Now Leaving Sandgem' sign that whizzed by. ... A few minutes later, Sadie could see the shining tips of buildings emerge from behind the trees. Jubilife? she immediately thought, biting her lip. Why would Rena want to take us here? “Here we are!” Rena shouted so Sadie could hear, suddenly braking. Sadie gasped as she beheld the city. Its many structures towered high above her head, and Sadie fount a silly worry nagging her – that the buildings might fall down against the slightest of winds. As Rena started forward, Sadie hesitated. “Well, are you coming or not?” Rena asked over her shoulder. “Rena, we're going to get lost!” “No we aren't! I have a map.” Rena patted the front pocket of her shorts. “Trust me, Sadie.” Sadie sighed. “All right... if you say you have a map, then we should be fine... But we shouldn't go too far into the city.” “It's okay, we're not even gonna go past the train station. The place we're going to is really close by.” But it turned out that 'close by' wasn't enough. As they entered the city, Sadie found herself engulfed by sound, light, and large clusters of people. It became increasingly harder to stay together with Rena, who was constantly pulling her bike off to the side to refer to her map again. Over the course of ten minutes, Sadie could have sworn that they had passed by the same building three times. Several times during the excursion, Sadie felt as if she were about to explode. The soles of her flip flops were thin, and unsuitable for walking great distances. Her foot ached when she brought it down upon the pavement. Her side bangs left one corner of her forehead cool, and the other sticky with sweat. Somehow she found the strength to suck it all up, until finally, Rena gasped and pointed. “There it is!” she exclaimed, and Sadie saw the glory of the Jubilife T.V Station directly in front of her. The face of the building was covered by a flashing banner depicting ads for new movies. A circle of palm trees surrounded the building, making it stand out from the others. Completing the scene was a mock red carpet that led to the ornate rotating doors. Sadie found herself smiling. “Well what are we waiting for? Let's go in!” Rena said, and both girls rushed forward as fast as the weight of their bikes would allow. Like most Sinnoh cities, Jubilife was bike-friendly, and there were complimentary bike rails and chains at almost every building. After they parked, Sadie and Rena pushed the revolving doors and entered the building. Sadie was immediately thankful for the rush of cool air, and walked slowly to take in her surroundings. The first thing Sadie noticed about the lobby was the enormous plasma screen televisions that were spaced evenly against the right side of the room, each displaying something different than the next. People sat in front of the TVs on mini sofas, drinking coffee and taking notes. The same red carpet extended all the way to the other side of the room, where the front desk was. Behind it stood a lady in full black, who stared energetically at everyone who entered the lobby. She now focused her beaming smile on Sadie and Rena as they approached her. “Welcome to the Jubilife T.V Station! We take pride in being the largest T.V station in all of Sinnoh, producing over 50 different shows and sponsoring over 100 channels. You are free to roam floors one and two, but floors three and four are for members only. If you would like, you can enter the daily lottery at the second desk on the right, on the second floor. It costs only twenty dollars to participate!” Neither Sadie nor Rena had accepted the offer, but she was already handing them a sign-up form. Sadie pushed it away as politely as she could. “Thank you, but we're just visiting.” The lady's smile did not falter. “All right! Let me know if you change your mind. Have a nice day!” “God, she's creepy!” Rena whispered as she led Sadie away from the counter. “Well, let's explore the station!” “I have to say, Rena, for once you picked a good place to go!” Sadie admitted, staring at the glittering floor with wide eyes. “This place is so high-tech!” Suddenly, a loud voice sounded from all four corners of the lobby. Sadie could not identify the source, but people everywhere turned away from their occupations at once. “Attention, JTS members! We are now giving away five free tickets to see our new movie 'The Tenacity of a Trainer', which will be featured in theaters everywhere in two weeks. Here's your chance to see it before anyone else! Please go to the fourth floor to sign up for your chance to win!” Several people jumped to their feet at the same time, crowding around the two elevators, each person desperately trying to pry open the doors to make room for them. Rena turned to Sadie, her expression frantic. “I want to see that movie so freaking bad!” she said. “We have to get those tickets!” “I want to see it too! But we're not members...” Sadie groaned at the last word. “And it's not like we can sneak in.” “Can't we?” Rena eyed Sadie with a kind of hopeful pleading in her soft brown eyes. Sadie responded with a shrug. “Be realistic, Rena. They'll probably have to check our cards or something, and when they realize we don't have any, they'll kick us out!” “Well, it's better to have tried and failed then to never have tried at all!” Rena said with finality, and grabbed Sadie's arm. She pulled her to the elevators, where a few unlucky people were still waiting for the next ones to arrive. With ease, the two girls pushed their way to the front of the small crowd. When the red doors finally opened, Sadie felt herself being pushed forward by a force so strong that she had to hold on to the railing for support. She felt Rena squeeze in beside her, along with another twenty people. Those who remained outside now stood with their arms crossed, and some turned to leave. “We made it!” Sadie whispered as the doors of the elevator slid closed. She felt a rush of dizziness as the ground beneath her began to rise. The lights on the inside wall indicated that they were now passing floors two and three. The elevator came to a smooth halt at the fourth floor. Sadie let herself be dragged by the force of the crowd, and she was led into a brightly lit hallway. From the back of the group, Sadie could barely make out what was going on, except for a few words from someone in the front. “All right, ladies and gentlemen! Who wants to be a winner?” a cheer erupted at the man's words. The next person who spoke was a female. “If you would please form a neat line, I will check your Member I.D cards.” From beside her, Sadie heard Rena whisper “Crap!” As the people slowly formed a line, the two people were now examining Member cards held out by each person in line. The tremors in Sadie's hands and back grew until the woman turned to look at her, palm outstretched. Barely two seconds had passed when the woman withdrew her hand, and shook her head in dismay. “Non-member. There's always the one who tries to be sneaky... Come with me.” Sadie stepped forward, her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. She turned to face Rena and grabbed her arm. “This is your fault!” she whispered as she followed behind the woman. Rena opened her mouth to speak, but apparently recognized defeat when she looked into Sadie's eyes. “In here.” The woman stopped at the end of the hallway and directed them towards a small office. One person was already inside, though – a female in tightly-fitting clothes sitting on the wooden desk. She held a telephone in one hand, a pen in the other, and balanced a clipboard on her legs. “No... wait, no! It's really important! Please don't hang up, all I want to do is ask a few questions -” but before her sentence was finished, she slammed the phone down onto its receiver and turned to the woman. “May I use the phone, Claire? I have two girls who need to call home.” Sadie shuddered at the word home, but decided it was better to suffer in silence. She's gonna kill me! Mom flipped out when I came home late, but this? She'll forbid me from ever seeing Rena when shes not there to supervise! It's even worse now that I'll have to tell her myself... what am I gonna say? 'Mom, uh, Rena and I are kinda in Jubilife now.' No, that's stupid... Aww, crap! I'm dead! The lady on the desk, Sadie figured she was a reporter, turned to face the lady who brought Sadie and Rena inside. With a snort, she lowered herself off the table. “Hmph! No one stays on the line for reporters anymore... they assume we're all just telemarketers and hang up. I'll never finish my story! Never!” “What story is it this time?” Claire sighed. Clearly she had been asked the question many times before. “I'm researching the link between the tornado and Darkrai. I've been given space on next month's issue of Journals of Jubilife, so apparently they think I'm onto something! But if I can't get an actual story, they'll give the spot to someone else!” The woman chuckled at Claire's answer. “A link between the storm and Darkrai? That's a bit odd, don't you think?” “Odd? How can it be odd when even some meteorologists are beginning to debate about it! A tornado like that simply can't disappear in a matter of seconds. There has to be something supernatural behind it. And if my story raises public awareness, think of what good it will do!” The woman chuckled, Sadie found herself wondering if she was distracted enough for them to sneak out. But before she could catch Rena's eye, she spoke again. “What good could possibly come out of that, Claire? Honestly, I have to tell you this every single time you try to go out-of-bounds to write. Remember what you wanted to write about last month? It would have made you a public disgrace if I hadn't stopped it. Now, can I please have the phone?” Claire seemed reluctant, but finally groaned and left the room. Sadie's shoulders sagged even lower as the woman picked up the receiver. “All right, what number am I dialing first?” she snapped at Sadie without turning around. Before she could open her mouth, however, Rena nudged her from behind. “Five, five, three, seven, seven, four, two. Just do it.” Sadie could barely make out Rena's words, but was relieved when the woman did not flinch. “Well?” she demanded. “Uh... f-five, five, three... seven seven four two,” Sadie repeated the number Rena had mentioned, wondering what in the world her friend was plotting this time. The woman dialed silently, then lifted the phone to her ears. “Come over here, girls,” she said, and they obeyed. Being this close, Sadie could hear the phone ringing faintly from where she stood. Form the corner of her eye, she saw Rena's lips form a smile. After several painful seconds, the ringing stopped and a low voice answered “Hello!” The woman tried to return the greeting, but she was cut off as the voice continued. “You have reached The North Pole. This is where my fellow elves and I are hard at work, making presents for all the good boys and girls. We also make lists and decide who has been good and who has been bad this year. Unfortunately, your call has confirmed that you are on the 'bad' list. Our monitors have video evidence of you not saying 'God bless you' when someone sneezed at your birthday party, and cheating in a Pokémon battle. On top of that, your call has distracted one of our elves from his work, therefore making him drop a toy train. Do you know who that toy train was for? Do you even give a damn that the little boy who was going to get that train was homeless? Of course you don't! Your spoiled ass doesn't deserve any presents. I'll give you a lump of damn coal for all I care!” The voice soon shifted into more colorful swear words, making the woman's cheeks flush an angry red. She didn't even notice as the two girls slowly backed out of the room. But, despite the hallway now being empty, Sadie didn't relax until she was hidden by the doors of the elevator. Once the hallway was completely hidden by the golden doors, Sadie breathed a sigh of relief. “That was brilliant, Rena! What number did you get her to call? There was some guy impersonating Santa Claus!” Through her trembling, Sadie found herself laughing. Rena shrugged. “It's this prank number that this guy created. He bought a cell phone and gives out its number on the Internet for anyone who wants to prank someone. He changes the voice mail each month. But I guess he forgot to or something, because he still has the one from last Christmas. Anyways, we better get outta here! I don't want to run into her again...” “Me neither.” The floor beneath Sadie trembled as the elevator came to a halt at the ground floor. As soon as the doors opened, she and Rena rushed to the exit, avoiding eye contact. The revolving doors took Sadie out of the building and into the heat of the outside world. Her giddy sense of freedom hadn't lasted long, though, for just as she stepped out of the building, she felt herself collide with someone. An involuntary “Ow!” escaped her lips as she fell onto the pavement. She found herself looking up into the face of a tough-looking police officer. His brow furrowed for a moment, but he didn't seem too mad. “Some people are in such a rush to get out of there... Is the movie preview really that bad?” he chuckled, and extended a hand. “Here, get up.” Sadie muttered a quick “Thanks” as she brushed off her shorts. The officer studied her and Rena for a moment. “What are your two girls doing here alone? It's not safe to wander around Jubilife. How did you get here?” “Bike,” Rena said, pointing to the rails where their bicycles stood. “We live close by, in Sandgem. We just had to run a few errands for our parents. They're probably wondering where we are, so we better get going.” “And you came here just by yourselves?” Neither of the girls said anything. The police officer scratched his chin. “Well, I suppose I should at least get you girls home. All right, get your bikes, and bring them over to my patrol car. I'll bring you home, because it's not safe to wander around, especially at this time.” The girls were given no other choice, so they obeyed. Sadie watched the officer hoist their bikes on the special bars of his car. Then he opened the door for Sadie and Rena, and, without a word, they got inside. Just as the officer closed the door behind him, Sadie felt a tap on her shoulder. “If we can just get home before either of our moms come back from work, we'll have nothing to worry about!” Sadie bit her lip, hoping all would go to plan.



darkpersian479	Sep 26 2009, 05:39 PM Post #10
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	Well, looks we have another good chapter on our hands. The scene at the TV Station was an interesting little excursion, and actually gave the girls a reason to head to Jubilife this time And more than last time, it shows Rena's impulsiveness and tendency to get the girls in trouble. But the prank caller guy totally took me by surprise in an lmao sort of way. Leave it to Rena to know somebody like that And this Claire person discussing the connection between Darkrai and the tornado... methinks the mere fact that Sadie and Rena overheard that is going to link them somehow with Darkrai... just my gut feeling Now the girls are headed home in the back of a police car... betcha Sadie's mom would freak out if she happened to be home when they arrived But I kinda have an idea of what happens, so I won't spoil Again, the addition of the TV station adds a lot to their little trip to Jubilife. And of course, now they're in the back of a police car... Looking forward to the next chapter!



*Hikari*	Sep 26 2009, 05:45 PM Post #11
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Actually last time the resaon for them going to Jubilife was to see the ruins of Route 203, but it was much less organized Did you know that in my original before SPPF fic, Dalton was supposed to be a police officer? No wai. I'm glad I made him a soldier, though. And yes, Sadie and Rena are now stuck in the back of a police car, riding home. Even though you know what's gonna happen already, I'm glad you have the patience to read >:0 P.S. The prank call is based off of a real voicemail number thingamabobber my friend showed me. Thanks for replying!



*Hikari*	Oct 11 2009, 06:08 PM Post #12
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 4. As time passed, the haze clouding Dalton's vision receded. As he slowly drifted into consciousness, he became aware of two distinct voices. He could not tell where they were, or who they belonged to. “Is he awake yet?” “No, he's still asleep...” They were muffled, as if they were separated from him by a wall of glass. Dalton could barely differentiate between them. There was a moment's pause in the conversation, then the deeper voice spoke. “I'm telling you, he's been asleep for too long. We should wake him now.” “And disturb his peaceful rest? Hmmm... no, we should give him more time to heal.” “Heal what, exactly? All he had was a sprain in his wrist and some bruising! He didn't need that strong of a medication...” At this, Dalton suddenly became aware of a series of dull pains across his body. Most of the pain was gathered in his head, throbbing in unison with his pulse. “Argh...” an involuntary groan escaped him as he struggled for control of his eyes. “Look Abraham, he's waking up! He's waking up!” said the first voice. The second man, Abraham, did not respond, but Dalton thought he heard him mumbling in the distance. A white room slowly came into focus as he opened his eyes. He was evidently lying on a bed, but most of his surroundings were still blurry. Dalton blinked away the tears, and he finally identified the source of the voices. The man who stood at his bedside was tall, thin, and smiling. His frizzy black hair stuck out in strands from underneath his white hat, and green eyes shimmered behind his glasses. According to his name tag, this was Dr. Christopher Sanchez. The second man, Abraham, sat in a chair on the other side of the room, looking utterly bored with his life. He was plump and balding, and his gaze remained focused on the shimmering object he was flipping around in his hands. In about five steps, he crossed the room to where Dalton was. “What's your name?” he asked simply. His voice was rather deep, and held a constant tone of sarcasm. “Dalton Rogers.” “All right. You can call me Abraham. His name is Dr. Christopher Sanchez.” “But, you can call me Dr. Christopher, Chris, anything will do,” Dr. Christopher said merrily. All Dalton could do was nod. His gaze fell on the object Abraham was holding. “What's that? Abraham?” Abraham snorted. “You should know. It was in your pocket.” “My pocket?” Dalton repeated in disbelief. “I've never seen that thing before in my life!” Abraham was about to reply, but Dr. Christopher cut in. “Neither do I! But I must say... it looks like something that would be found in the Oreburgh Mine. Probably a type of new crystal that shimmers like water! I must say, where did you find it?” He took the object into his hands, and have it a tap. The resulting peal was clear and loud. “Like I said, I don't know!” Dalton sighed. “It wasn't there before... oh my God, the Darkrai attack! Am I the only one who made it out? Did you get anyone else from my squad?” Dalton felt a rush of excitement as he sat up, then a sudden pain in his back forced him to lie back down. Dr. Christopher's smile faded for a moment. “Sadly, no. You were the only one the police found when they were at the scene. They thought you were dead, too, but I guess they were wrong! You started mumbling in your sleep, and they brought you here.” “Oh.” Dalton sank back into his pillow, the last bits of hope draining away. Dr. Christopher patted his shoulder reassuringly. “Don't worry, we'll take good care of you! You're not too bad off for someone who survived an ambush like that. All you have is some bruising and a sprained wrist. We took the liberty of wrapping it in a cast for you, but you might want to be careful with that hand.” The doctor's reassuring comments did nothing to help Dalton, however. His mind was still spinning with the details of his mysterious survival. What happened to the rest of the squad? Surely they couldn't have all died. Where are Bret and Harvey? Dalton couldn't help but wonder. Maybe they were taken to a different hospital, and they were found earlier than I was... yeah. Dalton decided to settle on this one happy thought. Now all I need to worry about is what I'll do when I get out of here... “Excuse me, Doctors? Where exactly am I right now?” It was Abraham who answered this time. “You're in the Oreburgh Central Hospital, in Oreburgh City. And he's the doctor, not me. I'm his intern.” He did not seem too proud of this. “Aww, no need to be a party pooper, Abraham. Sometimes I wish I were still an intern at the Sunyshore Main. Good times, good times...” they all stood in silence for a moment, then Dr. Christopher seemed to snap out of a long daydream. “All right! Let's get down to business! Are you hungry Dalton?” Dalton shook his head, pain shooting through his neck. “No, not hungry. Water would be great, though.” “Alrighty then! Abraham, bring him some water while I fill out these forms.” Dr. Christopher grabbed a clipboard on a nearby counter and began writing furiously. Abraham took a few steps towards the door, then stopped to look over his shoulder. “Do you want it, Dalton?” he asked, holding up the strange object. It glimmered under the fluorescent lighting. “I can throw it away for you if you want.” Dalton considered it for a moment, but decided to keep it. After Abraham left the room, Dalton found himself unable to put it down. It was shaped like the crescent moon, and was thin as paper. Depending on how it was angled to the light, it would alter between shades of pink, soft yellow, blue, and green. He had never seen anything like it before. “Hey, do you really think something like this could be found in the Oreburgh Mine?” Dalton asked, suddenly aware of Dr. Christopher's presence. “Why, of course! People find wacky things in there all the time. It looks awfully sharp, too. Maybe you picked it up on the ground to defend yourself at some point during the ambush? I hear stress can have an effect on your memory. Apparently, so can your mood and dental health.” Dalton looked up, momentarily distracted from his train of thought. “Mood and dental health?” Dr. Christopher shrugged innocently. “You'd be surprised at what you can find on a science website. People write about all sorts of things. Abraham even calls me the ultimate source for useless facts. As a matter of fact, I say you read a book or two on mining history. There's a library not far from here, I could check out a few books for you on my way home!” “Uh... sure,” Dalton said, putting the crescent on a glass table at his bedside. “Thanks.” “No problem!” Dr. Christopher smiled cheerfully, just as Abraham reentered the room. “All right, here's your water. Drink it, then get to sleep. You have about a week's recovery ahead of you.” “Mmhmm,” Dr. Christopher nodded in agreement over the last few strokes of his pen. “Gotta get this to Greg. See you later!” Dr. Christopher exited the room, Abraham following. “Night night,” he chuckled as he closed the door. ... The hospital room was streaked with sunlight when Dalton woke up the next morning. The first thing he noticed was a weathered book waiting for him on the table beside the bed. A note was taped to the spine: Dalton - The library had exactly what I was looking for! This book was recently published, and is very detailed. The last chapter is devoted entirely to mysterious artifacts, and your object is one of them! Look it up. It's called the Lunar Wing. Oh, and I had breakfast made for you already. If you don't want it, just leave it on the table. A day without laughter is a day wasted :) C.S. Next to the books was a tray of food. It wasn't much – just a few crackers, an apple, and a cup of milk. Dalton was grateful for it, though, and forced it down to his growling stomach. Then, he lifted the book up off the table. The title read: The Mysteries of Sinnoh, and the book looked as if it had never been opened before. Immediately, Dalton flipped to the table of contents, which was organized into chapters. He found the heading titled 'Lunar Wing and other Artifacts' and flipped to the indicated page. It was almost at the end of the book. He began reading the first paragraph that caught his eye. Experts agree that the Lunar Wing is one of the oldest Sinnoh artifacts. It was discovered in the late 1800s by a group of hikers who wandered into the Spear Pillar of Mt. Coronet. They described it as having a “surface smoother than glass” and being “as unbreakable as diamond”. Scientists later identified it as being as old as Sinnoh itself. Carbon dating puts it only a few years after the region's estimated formation. But despite intensive testing, its origins are unknown. “It's really just a piece of colored rock,” said Dr. E. Rann, Department of Archeology at the University of Sunyshore, and the scientist in charge of the study. “There's nothing special about it, at least nothing we can find.” The Lunar Wing was locked in the laboratory until it was stolen in 1960. The estimated value of the Lunar Wing back then was less than one hundred dollars, due to its uncertain use and quality. So why would anyone want to steal something virtually worthless? The answer came in the news one week later. The thief's identity was still unknown, but a news report featured a doctor who was treating a patient hospitalized with hallucinations and strange nightmares. The doctor admits to treating him with the Lunar Wing, which made his condition disappear in less than a day. But before further investigation could be conducted, the object vanished mysteriously. Its current location is unknown. The paragraph ended there, and a new section began. Dalton closed the book and put it back on the table, once again picking up the Lunar Wing. So it was used to cure someone's hallucinations? What good is that? Dalton's shoulders sagged as he looked at his blurry reflection. Maybe it was an accident that I found this. Not everything in life has to be a coincidence. Just as he was about to put the Lunar Wing back on the table, the door to his room opened. “Good morning!” Dr. Christopher said as he entered. “I see you've been reading that book I got you. How'd you like it?” “I only read the part about the Lunar Wing,” Dalton confessed. “Apparently it was used to cure someone's hallucinations a long time ago.” “Interesting, very interesting! Who knows, someday if you or someone you know has hallucinations, that might come in handy!” Dr. Christopher lifted the tray off of the table and checked Dalton's IV. “Well, I gotta run!” he said as he turned for the door. “Someone came in with a concussion a few hours ago... not good! Have to check up on him. See you later!” Dalton lazily waved and watched the doctor slam the door. For a few minutes, he was in total silence. The room's door did a good job of muffling the sounds in the hallway outside. For all he knew, there could be a fire. Dalton's back pains were slowly going away, so he was able to sit up and watch T.V. The monitor was irritatingly small, and its position on the far corner of the room made it hard to see. Nevertheless, he found the remote on the bottom shelf of the nightstand and began watching a random channel. Apparently, a special news group was interviewing the Sunyshore Gym leader about a new addition to his Gym. For a while, nothing could be heard except for Volkner's words, then a tapping noise. At first, Dalton thought it was just a part of the program. But even as the program went into commercial break, the tapping continued. In the corner of his eye, Dalton saw something small move behind the large window to his right. It was a Starly, and its eyes were red. Dalton turned to get a better look at it. The Starly froze in front of the window for a few seconds, then flew off.



darkpersian479	Oct 12 2009, 02:06 PM Post #13
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	Nice chapter overall. A bit quiet, but after the chaos of last chapter, it's a needed change. And we're introduced to Doctor Christopher, who I like for his random changing of topics and fascination with the local mining industry. Then, of course, there's intern Abraham, who is more down-to-earth and just has to put up with the doctor's quirks. But there is one major revelation, and that is the fact that Dalton survived the assault and found the Lunar Wing in his possession. This is significant, as out of all the soldiers in the platoon, he was singled out to survive and be given this rare item. Perhaps some unseen force or creature sees him as a key part of stopping the Darkrai massacre, and so granted Dalton with the Lunar Wing. It's an important development to be sure, and one to keep my eyes on in the future as things unfold.



*Hikari*	Oct 25 2009, 07:31 PM Post #14
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 5 That day, the ride home was long and bumpy. Sadie remained silent most of the time, listening to the hard rock music Officer Garrett was playing through the car's radio. She had never been a fan of rock, but Rena seemed to be enjoying it. Her best friend was mouthing the lyrics and snapping her fingers to the beat in a matter of minutes. Unlike Rena, Sadie preferred to stare out the window and watch the passing world. The windows of the car were tinted, which meant that Sadie could stare at someone with an unusual hairstyle or clothing for long periods of time without being noticed. The thing Sadie liked about Officer Garrett was that he seemed like a good-natured guy. He wasn't the type to cause uncomfortable silences and gaps in conversation. Most of all, he didn't address her or Rena like two criminals, but rather like two normal young ladies. He occasionally paused the music to mutter a few words into his police radio, but other than that, he remained peacefully silent. “Almost there,” he grunted as they passed the 'Entering Route 202' sign. At this point, Rena leaned over to whisper to Sadie. “It's almost 3:00. We're actually gonna make it!” Rena's excitement was obvious. Sadie sighed. For once, will we actually get through without getting in trouble? The very thought gave her hope. Up ahead, Sadie could see the iron gates that guarded the northern entrance to Sandgem. But the gates were closed, and Sadie immediately knew something was wrong. Rena seemed to be catching on as well. “What idiot closed the gates?” she shouted over the music. Officer Garrett paused the CD, and scratched his chin. “So they're not usually closed at this time of day?” “No...” Sadie said. She tilted her head as far to the side as the window would allow, but she could not see past the trees that blocked the view. “How do we get in?” “We could climb a tree!” Rena suggested. “Wait, no we can't. Our bikes won't fit up there.” It looked like Officer Garrett was preparing for a reply, but a sudden burst of static interrupted him. He lifted a walkie-talkie from his belt. “Hello? Officer Garrett here.” “Officer Garret!” said a frantic voice. “This is the chief. We're in Sandgem right now and I need you here immediately!” The policeman chuckled. “I'm actually in front of the gates right now. But they're closed and there's no way for us to get in.” “Sorry about that. We had to close them for security reasons. I'll have a few city officials open them right now, and I'll give you all the details,” said the chief. Sadie exchanged a nervous look with Rena, but remained silent. All she could do was wonder. About a minute later the gates slid open, revealing the aftermath of some terrible disaster. Police cars were everywhere, their flashing lights reflected by shards of broken glass sprinkled on the ground. Fire trucks were stationed here and there, their crews dousing the last bit of flames on crumbling buildings. People and their pokémon were being led out of their houses by paramedics. Gardens, signs, and paths were completely destroyed. What happened here? Sadie cupped her hands over her gaping mouth. Officer Garret made a sharp right turn, and entered a dead-end lane, stopping in front of Sadie's house. There stood a small group of officers along with a team of dogs. Officer Garrett stepped out of the care, and opened the door for the girls. Without a word, Sadie exited the car. The tears that welled up in her eyes had nothing to do with the smoky air. Her house was a ruin. Its windows were shattered, and the door hung loose from its only hinge. A tall man distanced himself from the crowd to wave at Officer Garrett, who saluted immediately. “Hello, Chief.” “All right, Officer, I need you to...” his voice trailed off as his gaze fell on Sadie and Rena. “Who are they?” he asked. “I was driving these two girls home from Jubilife. They live here.” The chief's eyes widened. He did not speak for a few seconds. “Well! Aren't you two lucky.” “What... what exactly happened here?” Sadie asked, her voice soft at first. “We don't know,” the chief shrugged. “Around noon, we got a call about a robbery in North Sandgem. Apparently the robber stole the person's pokémon and set fire to their house. Then, two minutes later, someone called about a robbery in South Sandgem. Same thing. Pokémon stolen, and fire. Then, another two minutes later, someone called about two missing girls.” There was a twinkle in his eye at the last sentence. “I see we have one of our problems solved.” Sadie felt her cheeks flush as she thought of her mother. How can she be back from work so early? “Unfortunately,” the chief continued, “The caller was cut off before she could finish the conversation. We heard glass breaking, and then the phone falling to the floor. Our CSIs are still working on it.” “WHAT?” Sadie shouted with involuntary astonishment. “My mother! What happened to her?” The chief shrugged sympathetically. “We got there in time. She suffered a head injury and a few broken ribs. But she should be fine now, she was airlifted to Oreburgh Central about an hour ago.” Sadie shoulders sagged. What was I doing an hour ago? Enjoying myself with Rena while my mom was worried sick! And now she has to pay for my stupidity. Her vision was blurred by warm tears. “Sadie... I'm sorry,” Rena said slowly, but Sadie turned away. “Here, I'll show you the damage inside. Follow me,” said the chief. He turned to lead the way, but Sadie stepped ahead of him. The interior of her house was a mess. The furniture was dirty and displaced, and the TV screen was cracked. The carpet on the stairs was splattered with mud, and so were the walls. This isn't my house... Sadie sighed. I don't care what they say... this isn't my house... Sadie entered the kitchen, her fingertips sliding over the surface of the counter. The refrigerator was knocked on its side, and so was the table. The potted plants that stood near the small window were all over the tiled floor. The sink was still running. Gently, Sadie stepped over a fallen chair and shut off the flow of water. Behind her, Rena was also exploring the scene. She was sitting in the exact same spot she had been in hours before, with a curious expression on her face. Sadie walked over to her, and Rena rose from her seat. “I'm really, honestly sorry about this Sadie. Maybe if we were there, we could have done something...” Sadie sighed. “It's not your fault. Mom wouldn't have wanted us to be there when the house was being robbed. She'll be glad that we weren't hurt. At least, not physically.” Sadie allowed herself a smile. “I want to go see my room. To find out what they stole.” Rena followed her to her room, where more destruction lay. Papers were scattered all over the floor, and her bed looked like someone had repeatedly jumped on it. Her books lay on the floor, most torn to pieces. The soft green paint of the walls was chipped and blackened. But Sadie's gaze remained fixed on the windowsill. “My pokémon!” she cried out, rushing to the opposite side of the room with her arms spread in front of her. A scream escaped from her lips when she realized that no pokéballs were there. “They took your pokémon!” Rena cried. “Wait... maybe they didn't check in your backpack! It's over there, look!” Immediately, Sadie rushed to her backpack, which was carelessly thrown against a wall. She withdrew a single pokéball from the inside pocket and tossed it into the air. “Go!” she shrieked, nearly hysterical. The silhouette of her Luxio emerged with a flash of red light. The electric pokémon growled in confusion, darting back and forth across the room. Just before it reached the wall, Sadie returned him and withdrew another pokéball. “Go!” she yelled, and out came her Roselia. Just as the last bit of red light faded from its slender body, the pokémon was called back in. With a confused cry, Roselia was sucked back into the pokéball. Defeated, Sadie let her backpack fall in a lump beside her. “That's it,” she whispered. “Oh no, Sadie...” Rena was biting her lip. The two girls met in a hug. “I only have Luxio and Roselia left...” Sadie sobbed. “Cherubi, Wingull... all g-gone!” Rena said nothing, but hugged her tighter. Before leaving the room, Sadie packed a few more things that were spared from the robber's attack. The only photo that wasn't smashed was on the very top of the wooden shelf, which made it difficult to grab. It depicted her at a young age, smiling next to her mother. Once she removed it from its frame, she put the photograph into her backpack. Sadie opened her jewelry box, which was kept a shelf lower. The robber obviously wasn't interested in her accessories, since the box didn't seem to be tampered with. Her fingers dug into the pile of necklaces and bracelets and withdrew a silver chain with a heart hanging from it. It was a gift from her grandmother, and it was one of her most treasured possessions. She fastened it around her neck, then led Rena out to the hallway. Her mother's room was in a similar state. The wallpaper was peeling, the curtains were torn, and the carpet was flattened. Her possessions littered the floor in a messy heap. The only thing left untouched was the safe her mother kept her pokéballs in. Though it was dented from many blows, the safe remained intact. It comforted Sadie to know that there was one thing the robbers couldn't get. “You're taking them?” Rena asked as Sadie knelt down before the safe. Sadie nodded as she turned the knob. “I don't want any policemen getting them. These pokémon are really special to Mom, and I'm not letting them out of my sight.” Sadie placed each pokéball into her backpack gently, separating them from her own. Then she rose to her feet. “Let's go. There's really nothing to do here anymore, and I can't look at this place anymore. It's too painful.” Rena nodded silently, and the two girls exited the room, later the house. They met with Officer Garret outside, who was talking with another officer. “Hello girls. Sorry... eh, about the house. We're doing everything we can.” He nodded to Sadie. “Is there a way for us to quickly get to the Oreburgh Central Hospital? I'd like to visit my mother,” Sadie said. The officer seemed surprised. “Well, I suppose once this mess has been cleared up, I can drive you on my way home. But I won't be there to pick you up, so you'll have to find other means of transportation.” “Thank you!” Sadie nearly screamed. “Hold your horses, we're not going anywhere yet. I have a lot of things to do, so you're probably looking at three more hours here. I'm afraid you'll have to stay close to me for the time being.” Sadie nodded. “It's okay, we don't mind.” She noticed the police chief making his way over to Officer Garrett. He held a clipboard, and was writing furiously. “Anything new, Chief?” Officer Garrett asked. The chief did not look up from his writing. “Yes. The CSIs recovered DNA from the homes, and there's a pattern of the same four individuals. But the thing is, they were reported missing months ago. And some of the homes they broke into were theirs. This doesn't add up. Why would you steal your own stuff?” “Maybe to cover their own tracks? What did they take from the homes, exactly?” “They did a good job of wrecking things, but all they really took were pokéballs.” “So a group of people who steals other people's pokémon. That's not unheard of.” “I hope it'll be as simple as that. Crime gangs aren't too hard to capture these days. We already have a profile of the people. Now all we need to do is find their whereabouts.” “Do you need my help with anything, sir?” “Not really. We have everything covered already. The residents are begin evacuated, and the paramedics have taken care of everyone. Tell the other officers that they can go home. The CSIs and I do all the work from here,” he chuckled. Officer Garrett saluted once more, then made his way over to his car. Sadie stepped inside, ready to see her mother.



darkpersian479	Oct 26 2009, 09:46 PM Post #15
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	Wow. You drop a bombshell this chapter. Needless to say, getting in trouble with her mom is now the least of Sadie's worries. Her town and home are in shambles, her mom is hospitalized... a simple trip to the next town over results in this chaos? And the description of the devastation and Sadie's reaction to the mess is much improved this time. There's definitely a heightened sense of despair and hopelessness this time around, and that makes the chapter all the more intense. This is the chapter, IMO, that draws the girls into the main plot, and it's carried out very well. Can't wait for the next chapter, and I think you know why ;P



*Hikari*	Nov 15 2009, 02:11 PM Post #16
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 6 “Come on plane, land!” the girl muttered to herself. Next to the other passengers, who were lazily gathering their things, her fidgeting was strangely out of place. She frequently took out her cell phone to check the time, following with a quick glance out the window and a pause to adjust her position. Her gold necklace bounced with her motions. “Calm down,” the man sitting next to her said between gulps of soda. “The pilot said we'll be on the ground in a few minutes.” Completely ignoring his comment, she continued to groan. “Man! I told that pilot to go west to avoid the headwind! He's wasted so much time!” “Do you ever stop complaining?” the man continued, opening a bag of potato chips. “Do you ever stop eating?” she countered, her nose crinkling as the man swallowed. “In a span of five hours, you've burped forty seven times, spilled your soda five times, and talked with your mouth full twelve times! Including now!” For a moment, the man's tiny eyes fell on his stained shirt, then back to the girl. “It's none of your business how I eat!” As he said this, he opened a can of soda. “You better not get any of that on my dress!” the girl threatened, then turned away. According to the small TV screen on the seat in front of her, the plane had lost 500 feet, and was now making its way to the Jubilife Airport. The girl's fist tightened around the skirt of her dress, which had been a nervous habit of hers for as long as she could remember. I'm not gonna make it in time! I'm not gonna make it! Lindsay better be okay! What if something did happen to her? I can't imagine the guilt! Her thoughts were scattered and frantic. When the plane skid to a stop, she was the first one up. She shot the pilot a glance as she passed by the cabin, then ran to the terminal as fast as her flats would allow her. But to her dismay, the building was packed to such extent, she could not get past the entrance. There appeared to be some sort of holdup within the building. People were gathering around one point, murmuring behind cupped hands. “Outta my way, MOVE!” The girl yelled, shoving her way through the crowd. She pushed herself to the front of the crowd, ignoring the abuse others yelled at her. The commotion was coming from two police officers who were wrestling with a teenage boy. He didn't look like a criminal to her, however. His attire was that of a plain city boy, dressed in a simple white shirt and baggy jeans. The only thing that seemed out of place were his glasses, their dark lenses making it nigh impossible to see his eyes. Maybe he's an undercover fugitive... She watched as the officers continued to wrangle, but the boy was surprisingly tough. He seemed to be overpowering them, slowly but surely. “Backup, I need backup!” one of the men yelled into his walkie-talkie. A few seconds later, three more officers rushed to the scene. The crowd gasped in shock as they overwhelmed the boy, and bound his hands with a pair of shiny handcuffs. “Thought it would be a good idea to sneak a knife onto the plane, eh?” Lisa caught an officer say the boy was led off. And just like that, the day resumed as if nothing had ever happened. “Hmph!” the girl snorted to herself as she continued her walk. “Criminals... at such a young age, too.” She was momentarily distracted with opening her purse, so she did not anticipate what would happen next. As she brought down her left foot, she felt something give way beneath her. She screamed as she fell to the floor, hands flailing. The force of the impact stung her knees and palms, and jarred her vision. A few people gathered around her as she scrambled to her feet. Then, she heard a woman's voice exclaim, “You stepped on my daughter's... brand... new... BACKPACK!” Several gasps followed, and a small crowd began to gather. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry!” she cried, and broke into a run. She exited the airport building and entered the blistering heat of Jubilife City. As she stood in the parking lot, she zipped open her purse. She withdrew her purple cell phone and began to dial a number. “Hello? This is Lisa Northwood. I'm at the Jubilife National Airport, 1117 Buck Street. I need a taxi to drive me to Oreburgh Central Hospital pronto!” A few minutes later, a large brown car pulled up to the parking lot. The driver was a tired-looking man wearing a fancy black cap. He appeared nervous as he pulled up to the girl. “Sorry, ma'am,” he said in a thick accent. “We would have gotten you a more luxurious car, but it broke down and we had to get a Buick LeSabre instead.” But her smile only grew wider. “It's perfect!” ... By the end of his first few days at the hospital, Dalton was finally getting the hang of things. His wrist was almost fully healed, and Doctor Christopher or Abraham would drop by at least once a day to check up on him. The hospital itself was very fast-paced. Occasionally, Dalton caught bits and pieces of conversation between the staff. There was an unexplained rise in patients lately, all of them afflicted with the same condition – Darkrai nightmares. When he learned this, Dalton reacted with a gasp. The first time he had heard the term was a year ago, when the Darkrai conflict was just beginning. Apparently, Darkrai possessed an unearthly power to inflict any living thing with eternal sleep, tormenting them with nightmares of their greatest fears. The victim would appear normal on the outside, but would occasionally mutter things and shake violently depending on what they were dreaming. Once someone was asleep, there was virtually no way to wake them. All you could do was watch them suffer. Such cases were extremely rare, though. When Dr. Christopher next entered his room, Dalton posed the question to him. “So, you overheard some of our other doctors talking?” the doctor had replied, raising an eyebrow from his latest paperwork. “Yeah, and I've heard that Darkrai nightmares are extremely rare. So what's up with all these sleepers?” Dr. Christopher sighed, preparing his reply. “Well, we have been getting a lot of sleeping patients lately... they've been given the entire second floor too. We get about three new cases per week, which is a very shocking amount! Can you believe that before all this Darkrai stuff started happening, people never even knew what a Darkrai nightmare was? Darkrai has finally found a way to harm the citizens.” His expression turned somber as he gazed out the window. “I fear that things will take a turn for the worse...” The next few days were dark and rainy. Dalton was always woken in the middle of the night by a clap of thunder, then lulled to sleep by the rush of falling rain. During his waking hours, he occupied himself with The Mysteries of Sinnoh. The book wasn't very interesting, despite the promising title. Apparently, 'mysteries of Sinnoh' could mean anything from ancient ruins to weather patterns. Many of its topics were left open, as if the author was asking the reader to tell him more. One chapter, titled 'Did you know that Mt. Coronet is a chain of volcanoes?' barely extended down to a page. Every once in a while, Dalton's gaze would fall on the Lunar Wing. It lay in the exact same spot he had left it a few days ago, but it looked different somehow. At night, it seemed to glow with the light from the window. Sometimes Dalton would just sit and stare at it, wondering where it came from and how he had attained it. Though he never saw the mysterious red-eyed Starly again, his mind flickered to it every so often, triggering thoughts such as, Am I really hallucinating? Or was it really there? Could it have something to do with the Lunar Wing? The morning before his checkout date, Dalton woke in a relatively good mood. He was well-rested, and was finally able to finish his entire breakfast when it was given to him. The storm clouds had begun to clear, allowing streaks of sunlight into his room. Greg, the receptionist, entered his room with a cheerful “Good morning!” “Morning, Greg,” Dalton said as the man handed him a clipboard. “Just some papers giving consent to your release tomorrow, and your bill,” Greg explained with a yawn. “Barely got any sleep last night... I'm no good in all this wet weather.” “Mhmm,” Dalton murmured absentmindedly, skimming through the tiny black print. “Just hand those in to the front desk when you're ready.” Greg trudged to the door and slammed it behind him. Dalton rather liked the silence – it gave him peace of mind and time to think. And now, with the tip of his ballpoint pen inches away from the signature line, he began to wonder for his future. After I get out of this place... where will I go? I can't be in here forever... I can't go home either. Go back to the military? Maybe... During his time at the hospital, Dalton had been pondering his mysterious survival. Had it been a miracle of some sort? Was it meant to be this way? Maybe it's a message for me to ditch the military... Dalton wondered, the paper covered in marks from his tapping pen. In truth, the past year was definitely his worst in the army. The president had announced the Darkrai mission at the beginning of the year, and divided the squads among sections of Sinnoh. They were trying to track down Darkrai and kill it once and for all. The instructions were vague, for Dr. Berry had not mentioned exactly how it was to be done, or what to do after it had been done. The result was utter chaos, with each of the squads executing their own interpretation of the plan. One of his buddies had already dropped out, deciding that it was finally time to return home and 'get a real job'. Dalton was contemplating the same, but bit down the idea for a good month. Was this finally the time to act? But they can't possibly kill Darkrai like that! Dalton realized with a burst of silent rage. Bullets have no effect, and Darkrai can wipe out an entire squad with one attack... how does it do that? The other squads will be helpless! I can't let all those soldiers die... And then, he knew what he had to do. I'll go to Snowpoint City... Somehow, I'm gonna get to the President and tell him that he needs a new plan of action. In about five minutes, Dalton had signed all his papers. Clipping the pen back to the clipboard, he rose from his seat and left the room. His room was at the end of a long, bright hallway. His bare feet felt strange on the cold floor, and Dalton suddenly wished for a thick pair of socks. Taking a deep breath, Dalton started walking. The entire hospital was like an extension of his room - neat, orderly, and identical. The hallways all looked the same, except for the numbering on the walls that indicated the various rooms. Dalton soon found himself lost in a sterile white maze, jumping from elevator to elevator in a panic. Twice he tried to ask for help, only to be silenced by someone who was “On the phone!” or otherwise occupied. As his frustration began to build, Dalton began to walk faster. But everywhere his head turned all he could see were more doors. What kind of place is this? he cried out in his mind. When he reached the nearest elevator, Dalton jammed his fist into the button on the wall, muttering angrily under his breath. Dalton stepped into the elevator, overcome by a rush of cool air. The rows of buttons on the doors were blinking simultaneously, and Dalton selected the lowest floor option: Floor 2. As the elevator jerked downward, an old pop song began to play from the single speaker on the ceiling. As he waited, Dalton found himself transfixed by his own reflection in the mirror walls. Dalton could not place it, but something about his appearance had changed. As he peered into his own eyes, which had dulled in color ever so slightly, he saw a mysterious new emotion hidden behind them. The very thought made him feel detached somehow, as if the person in the mirror wasn't him. His face appeared sunken and hollow under the light, as if something were missing. But before Dalton could begin to wonder, there was a loud screech. The elevator doors slid open, revealing a long hallway ahead. To Dalton's surprise, it was completely deserted. Dalton just stood there for a moment, unsure of whether to proceed. He stepped out of the elevator cautiously, the low hum of the radio replaced by screaming silence. There was a final beep as the elevator doors closed behind him, their low thump echoing through the empty space. Just then, Dalton began to feel very dizzy. Suddenly, a muffled scream sliced through the air. Dalton felt himself jerk to a stop, his blood cold in his veins. His palms were sweating with the same anticipation he usually felt before he was about to venture out on a mission with his squad. Slowly, Dalton turned to the door to his left, his head still spinning. His surroundings blurred ever so slightly, but he could still read the brass numbers on the wall: '209'. The door stood slightly ajar, giving him a glimpse of the room behind it. Dalton could see the side of a bed where a figure lay, thrashing violently. The creature gasped and shivered, its motions in time with a faint beeping noise. Dalton's hand closed around the knob as he slowly opened the door. He did not know what prompted him to do this, but he found himself standing inside the room, beside the bed. The creature was a young girl, about five years old. She was flinching and squealing, her eyes tightly closed. Frequent spasms wracked her frame. Darkrai nightmare... The words slipped through Dalton's thoughts, and he wondered what this girl had been seeing behind her closed lids. And then, almost as if by impulse, his hand found the Lunar Wing nestled in the pocket of his gown. He slowly withdrew it, and held it near the girl. The Wing began to glow, its light filling the entire room. The girl's shivers lessened, and she let out a sigh. Her grimace was replaced by the face of a silent, peaceful slumber. “Oh my God...” someone said, and Dalton jumped. He turned to see a wide-eyed doctor standing at the doorway, gripping the knob with a pale hand. She eyed the Lunar Wing with wide eyes. “I... There was a scream, and she was having some sort of seizure... And I held this in front of her, and it... stopped,” Dalton managed, voice still quaking from his passing fear. The doctor blinked twice, and stepped forward, her slick ponytail swishing behind her. Dalton placed the Lunar Wing into her outstretched hand. The doctor began examining it under the light. “This poor little girl was having a Darkrai nightmare... but this - this stone, you say, cured her?” Dalton nodded. “The Lunar Wing.” When she turned back to him, her cheeks were wet with tears. “I must inform the staff of this! With this... Lunar Wing, we could heal the entire second floor!” her voice had a hysterical edge to it, as if she didn't believe her own words. She turned for the exit, then shot Dalton a glance over her shoulder. “Are you... a patient here?” “Yeah, I was trying to get to the first floor... but this place is like a maze! I have to get these papers over to Greg, the guy at the front desk. I'm checking out tomorrow.” “I'll lead you to the front desk then. Follow me.” The room was entirely empty, except for Greg standing behind the marble counter, typing away at his computer. “Hello, Dalton. All done with those papers?” He nodded as Dalton handed him the clipboard. Without another word, Dalton left the room.



darkpersian479	Nov 15 2009, 05:20 PM Post #17
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	Okay, first I need to say to everyone else that I do approve of the inclusion of my character here. Keeping my character in, well, character (lol)isn't much of a problem here. Lisa's done very well in this chapter and displays her typical charms and quirks. I like to see when someone can take your character, give them their unique spin, and still keep them true to form. And she does indeed become a nervous wreck sometimes. Quote: “You stepped on my daughter's... brand... new... BACKPACK!” Uh, oh, someone's in trouble But ah, yes, the crowded airport scene. Anyone who's ever been there has probably had to deal with a crowded terminal sometime... Quote: “We would have gotten you a more luxurious car, but it broke down and we had to get a Buick LeSabre instead.” But her smile only grew wider. “It's perfect!” Buick LeSabre... the car of choice for teenage math nerds and 84-year old PLF members alike I also think that the nature of the Darkrai nightmares was described in more detail this time around, like the sudden increase in incidents over the past year and the president's haphazard "plan" for dealing with it. Against a foe that powerful, and with instructions that vague, I would've dropped out of the military in the first place. Not that I'd enlist in the first place XD And we get to see the Lunar Wing in action as it cures a nightmare victim. Though Dalton may be sticking around the hospital a little longer than he planned... Well, that's about all I had to say. I'll be looking forward to the next chapter, and to see how everybody eventually meets up. Good work on the chapter!



*Hikari*	Nov 27 2009, 11:52 AM Post #18
Bess to see Thockmorton Posts: 884 Group: Administrators Member #1 Joined: Aug 25, 2008	Chapter 7 In contrast to the outside temperature, the lobby of the Oreburgh Central Hospital was cool and refreshing. An involuntary 'Ah' escaped Sadie's lips upon entering. The lobby was empty except for a teenage girl in an expensive-looking dress. She sat in a chair near the doorway. A clerk sat behind the counter, face obscured by a computer screen. “Names please?” the clerk asked, tilting his head so he could see her. He was a small man, appearing to be in his late thirties. “Sadie Catherwood and Rena Bradford. We want to visit someone named Katherine Catherwood, but I'm not sure which room she's staying at.” Once again, the man's face disappeared behind the screen. After a while, he replied, “Miss Catherwood is staying in Room 361... but she's in critical condition. I'm sorry ladies, but no visitors are permitted.” “We get that! That's why we want to visit her! To see if she's okay!” Rena snapped, placing both fists onto the counter. Sadie was about to pull her back, then the man responded. “I'm sorry again, but I can't let you or anyone else visit her. Hospital rules.” Rena made a face, and Sadie was immediately glad he could not see her.“...Okay,” Rena said, her voice upbeat and cheerful. “Thanks for the help.” With that, Rena turned away and walked over to a nearby chair. She motioned for Sadie to follow. “Aren't hospitals supposed to have those family-friend rules?” she mumbled as she sat down next to Rena. Her voice seemed unusually loud in the quiet lobby. “Sadie, calm down. Your mom's in good care. But if we can't visit her, then it's not worth getting upset about,” Rena said, her voice just a bit louder. Then she leaned closer, and her voice dropped to a whisper. “We can't act like we're upset! That guy will think we're a couple of mental teenagers, and then he'll kick us out of here. All we need to do is ask directions for the bathroom, then we go to Room 361 when that nutcase isn't looking!” She glanced over to the clerk, who had remained still the entire time. Obviously, he hadn't heard Rena's last words. Sadie bit her lip. Well, what harm could it do? “All right,” she whispered to Rena. “But this better work.” “Don't worry, people do this all the time!” Rena winked, then swiftly rose from her chair. Her smile was erased as she approached the counter, replaced by a businesslike expression. “Excuse me, do you know where the bathroom is?” she asked innocently, playing with the edge of her shirt. A sigh came from behind the computer. “If you're trying to sneak past me to see Mrs. Catherwood, then you might as well give up. There's a bathroom over there.” He pointed to a narrow hallway across the room, in the opposite direction from the main hallways. Rena made no attempt to hide her frustration. Sadie stifled a laugh as Rena stomped back to her chair, mumbling to herself all the way. “Stupid clerk,” Rena said through gritted teeth. She let herself fall into the chair, and groped a nearby table for a magazine. “You too?” said a new voice, and Sadie turned. The teenage girl was looking at them now, her brown eyes narrowed with interest. It was only now that Sadie noticed her unusual outfit – fancy blue dress partially concealed behind a green blouse, and straight brown hair underneath a white hat. Sadie had never seen anyone in Sinnoh dress like that, and immediately assumed this girl was foreign. “What?” Rena asked defensively, looking up from her magazine. “A girl can't read Championship Battling?” The girl giggled. “No, I was actually referring to you guys getting sent back from the clerk's desk. The guy won't let me see my sister!” “That's terrible!” Sadie exclaimed. “What happened to her?” “I don't know... Yesterday I get a call from her, saying that she's about to go up against Roark. He's the Gym leader here apparently. And a few hours later, I get a call from the paramedics, saying that something bad has happened to her and she's being hospitalized.” “Yeah... something like that happened to my mom too. Rena and I weren't home at the time, but we came back and found an entire investigation going on in our town,” Sadie found herself saying. “Was it Sandgem?” the girl asked, catching Sadie by surprise. “Well... yeah, how did you know?” “I was listening to the radio when I took the taxi here. They said that there was some sort of raid on Sandgem Town. Something about a crime gang setting fire to people's houses and stealing their pokémon...” her voice hardened at the last sentence. “I've had enough of crime gangs, trust me.” “But the police said that most of the houses that were robbed belonged to the robbers. You wouldn't steal your own pokémon, because you already have them. And you wouldn't burn down your own house even if you were in a crime gang,” Rena replied, not taking her eyes off the pages. The girl shrugged. “You'd be surprised at what kind of people live in this world. I've met a man who barks more than he talks!” Sadie couldn't help but laugh at the thought. A long gap in conversation followed, during which Sadie let herself fall into a daydream. She sat in content silence, observing the day through the glass doors. She watched as the landscape outside dimmed and brightened with the steady movement of clouds, and how the plants swayed with the breeze. The only sounds she could hear were the tapping of the clerk's keyboard and the flick of turning pages. “I'm Lisa, by the way,” said the girl. “Lisa Northwood.” It took Sadie a moment to find her voice. “Nice to meet you. I'm Sadie Catherwood.” “Rena Bradford.” Lisa nodded slowly. “So where do y'all plan on going now that your hometown is a crime scene, and your mom is in the hospital? It sounds like a pretty bad situation.” Sadie was about to answer, then she realized that Lisa was right. Rena's parents, along with the other inhabitants of Sandgem, would be forced to go live in another city while the crime was being investigated. Meanwhile, she and Rena were at the hospital, with no money and no means of getting home. “...This sucks,” Sadie said after a while. “We could always call my mom,” Rena put in. “We can find out where she is, and after she's done screaming at us, we could stay with her for a while. Until your mom gets better.” “Good idea, but we don't have a cell phone. It wasn't in my backpack when we were battling in Route 202, and I guess I forgot to pack it when I was in my room...” Sadie's cheeks burned with her own shame. Her mother had always told her to never leave her house without her cell phone. And now, the day she needed it most, she didn't have it. “You could borrow mine,” Lisa suggested, handing them a small purple phone. “Uh... thanks!” Sadie said, sheepishly taking the phone. She passed it to Rena, who began dialing immediately. “Hello?” she said loudly, bringing the phone to her ear. She remained silent for a few seconds, biting her lip and staring at the ceiling. But after a few seconds, she snapped the phone shut. “That's weird... No answer. She always answers, especially when I'm calling...” “We'll try again another time,” Sadie said. “Right now, we have to get a place to stay. We can't sit here forever.” “But where are we gonna go? Mom's not answering.” “I'm staying at a Quality Inn not far from here,” Lisa spoke up. “It's a very good hotel, and it's pretty cheap too. Y'all can get a room there!” “We don't have any money,” Rena groaned. “We can't go anywhere.” “We could always get a free room at the Pokémon Center,” Sadie realized. “They're funded by the Pokémon League, so the rooms are free.” An expression of horror crossed Lisa's face. “A room at the Pokémon Center? For free? I haven't seen the Pokémon Center rooms in Sinnoh, but one time I had to stay in one back home... and let me tell you, it wasn't exactly five-star quality. The doors were literally falling off their hinges, and the bathrooms were disgusting! The toilet was overflowing and the tiles were covered in mold. The pillows were hard and the blankets made me itchy. The windows wouldn't open, so I couldn't get any fresh air. The air condition apparently 'wasn't working' at the time, so I had to breathe in stinky bathroom air. The first hour in there, I felt like I was going to puke! So I left after the first day and drove all the way to the next town, where there was a Quality Inn.” “Wow,” Sadie said. “Was the Pokémon Center room really that bad?” To this, Lisa nodded. “Sinnoh Pokémon Centers aren't that dirty,” said Rena incredulously. “My cousin stayed at one before. He said it was a little musty, but it wasn't any worse than a cheap hotel was.” “Well, if it's the only option then we might as well get going. Come on, Rena.” Sadie rose to her feet and turned to her friend. Rena remained where she was for a moment, skimming through the last of the magazine page. Soon, she stood to join her. “I should probably go too,” said Lisa, rising along with them. “I don't wanna spend any more time here than I have to.” “Have a nice day,” the clerk called after them, right before Rena slammed the door shut. “Now he's acting all nice...” Rena murmured. The girls started down the dirt path slowly, the beat of their footsteps drowned out by the sound of passing cars. There was really no need for paved roads in Oreburgh, since the soil itself was flat and smooth. The city had always appealed to Sadie, mainly because it was surrounded by snow-topped peaks. Trees were a rare, but beautiful sight. She especially loved how the green of the grass and leaves stood out against the rich brown of the soil. In Sadie's eyes, every inch of it was picture-perfect. They walked for several minutes, occasionally conversing with one another. But most of the walk was spent in silence, with each girl looking in a separate direction. Lisa had a habit of muttering to herself, and frequently paused to examine her shoes. To the questioning glances Sadie shot at her, Lisa replied “Well I can't get dirt on my flats!” Oreburgh's Pokémon Center was a few blocks away from the hospital. Like the standard, the building was large and square, and topped with a red roof. Here, amongst historical buildings and worn-out landscapes, the smooth glossy building seemed out of place. Sadie had always assumed that this was done on purpose, to make sure trainers from around the world could recognize the building. Rena had once said that all this 'modernization' was ruining the cultural identity of the cities, and Sadie agreed wholeheartedly. She cringed as the door slid open, swallowing them into a brightly-lit lobby. The interior was a bright pink, with slippery tiles and bright wallpaper. Like most Pokémon Centers, this one was equipped with a row of computers, where trainers could contact their relatives and friends for free. A row of chairs lined the walls, in which trainers sat feeding and grooming their pokémon. A booth off to the side sold pokémon food, water, and travel equipment. “Wherever you go, the only thing that remains the same are Pokémon Centers,” Lisa said, taking a few steps into the room. “While you guys get a room, I'm gonna go. Have to get back to my hotel for lunch. It was nice meeting you, Sadie and Rena.” “Nice to meet you too,” Sadie said. “See you around!” “Yeah, see you around. Bye!” Rena said. Lisa gave a final wave, and her blue dress disappeared behind the door. Sadie's gaze remained on the closed door for a moment, then she turned to face the front of the room. The lady behind the counter was clad in all white, a red cross adorning the cap on her head. She nodded to Sadie and Rena as they approached. “How may I help you?” she asked plainly, pursing her glossed lips. “We'd like to rent a room please,” Sadie said. “For how many nights?” her questions came in a monotone, as if given by a telephone operator. “We're not sure yet... can you put us down for three? We'll tell you if we need to stay longer.” “Are you girls trainers?” “No, not really...” Rena shrugged. “Well there's a non-trainer fee for renting a room. You also have to be a trainer to benefit from our pokémon-healing center, pokémon battling rooms, and massage therapy. If you're not a trainer, you have to pay twenty dollars plus an extra fifteen for full services.” “But we're two unaccompanied minors whose hometown has been burned down! We don't have a place to stay and our parents are either hospitalized, or vanished off the face of the Earth! We're flat broke!” “I'm very sorry, but I can't give you a free room unless you're a trainer!” There was a honest trace of sympathy in her tone. “All right, we are trainers! Now will you give us a room?” The nurse smiled wryly. “Let me see your Trainer Identification.” Sadie immediately turned to Rena, who simultaneously turned to her. Sadie stiffened. “I... I have my Contest pass. Does that count?” “No,” the nurse sighed. Rena rolled her eyes and let out a groan. Several people turned their heads for the source of the sound, but she did not appear to notice. “Look, all we need is a roof over our heads! We don't care about the fancy room service or toe massages! Just give us the cheapest room you have, and we promise to keep it clean!” The nurse appeared to be ready to rebuke, but something made her pause. She took a step back and considered them for a moment, her blond curls shifting with her movements. “If you're really that desperate, I could give you room O-16. It's the smallest room, and everyone's been complaining about it. I'll give it to you for free for one week as long as you don't cause a nuisance for the other trainers staying here. You also won't be able to benefit from our trainer-only services.” “Deal,” Sadie said, before Rena could utter a protest. The nurse nodded again and handed them a laminated card key. “The room is the fifth door down the hallway to the left. Have a nice stay.” Sadie followed the nurse's directions to room O-16. The hallway was several meters wide, and packed with trainers of all sorts. Sadie caught words like 'badges' and 'PokéDex' from their conversations, very much unlike those of regular teens she saw. They all wore colorful outfits, all bearing the official pokémon insignia. She recognizes trainers from Hoenn, Johto, and Kanto. Some mingled amongst themselves, and others stood back in groups of three or four. A few daring trainers were having full-blown battles in the middle of the hallway, shouting commands over their peers. A few bystanders cheered them on, recording the events with strange blinking devices. Others were exchanging money in a frenzy, betting on the opponents. This... Sadie concluded, is an entirely different culture. “Hey you!” the sudden shout caught her off guard. Sadie turned to see a boy of no more than eleven years old standing in front of her, his features pulled back into a grimace. He was dressed in a blue jacket, a plain T-shirt, jeans, and a brand-name hat – clothes from the Trainer Department Store. He clutched two pokéballs in his hands, and four more were attached to his belt. “I challenge you to a battle, right here and now!” He pointed a twitching finger to Sadie. She had never been confronted in this manner before, and was unsure of how to respond. As always, Rena beat her to it. She crossed her arms and stepped forward, until her face was inches apart from the boy's. “Look kid, we don't have time for your battling nonsense! What we're doing is ten times more important. So tell that poor little Chimchar that he's not gonna get any today!” Rena met the boy's grimace with her own, causing him to step back. He looked at her for a few seconds with tearful eyes, then ran away sobbing. “You didn't have to make that poor kid cry,” Sadie teased, watching as the boy's cries grew into screams. He tripped a few times on his untied shoes, then disappeared behind a corner. “Trainers have no dignity whatsoever!” Rena said as they resumed their walk. “They just go up to any random person and challenge them to a battle right then and there!” “You want to be a trainer one day, if I remember correctly.” “Yeah, but not like them! They're idiots! Or, as they say it, noobs.” “Noobs? Is that even a word?” Sadie giggled. Rena shrugged. “Trainers, like I said before.” They entered a quieter part of the hallway, in which the roar of the trainers was considerably muffled. The door labeled O-16 was right next to a broom closet. A card slot was attached to the area where a handle should have been. Sadie slid the card key into the slot, and the door opened. The room, just like the nurse had said, was rather small. It was built in a rectangular style, with two beds separated by a glass table. The floor was shiny and reflective, and the curtains matched the soft pink of the walls. They were drawn to reveal a beautiful slice of the Oreburgh landscape. Sadie dropped her backpack onto one of the beds and sat down, eager to rest her tired feet. A small TV stood on a table in front of her bed, with the remote perched on top. “This seems like an okay place,” Rena admitted, taking the bed beside Sadie's. The room was in good condition, and there was a constant breeze of cool air from the vent on the ceiling. The only damage Sadie could detect were the walls, which bore the signatures of countless trainers who had stayed here before. They wrote things like 'Number one trainer!' and 'Pokemon League, Dec. 1992'. “Why do you think people complained about this room?” she asked, leaning against the backboard of the bed. “No clue... hey, let's try calling my mom again.” Rena lifted the black receiver and quickly dialed her mother's number. She held the phone to her ear for a few moments, only to slam it down again. “No answer again! This is getting really annoying.” “Let me try.” Sadie took the phone into her own hands and dialed again, paying attention to every key her finger touched. She brought the phone to her ear, and gave a satisfied smile when she heard it ring. “See? You just have to dial slower.” Rena remained silent, and lay back down on the bed. Sadie twiddled with the phone cord as it rang, anticipating Regina's merry 'hello' any second. She crossed her legs, and uncrossed them. She looked around the room, sighed, and played with her hair. For a long time, all she could hear was ring ring... ring ring.... Then she finally came to her senses. A minute had passed, and the phone was still ringing. Evidently, Regina would not pick up. With a groan, Sadie slammed down the phone and leaned back against the headboard. “Well?” Rena asked. Sadie had to collect her thoughts for a moment before answering. “It's really weird... it just kept ringing. There was no operator voice or anything. Just... ringing,” Sadie shrugged. “It's like she's getting the call, but she's not around to answer it.” “She probably lost her phone again,” Rena groaned. “We'll call tomorrow, okay? I'm starving!” “We can't get lunch. We have no money...” “So? We can't starve! Let's go back to the hallway and battle that poor kid. I hear trainers give you money if you win their battles.” A few seconds passed before Sadie answered. “Okay.” The girls rose in unison, putting on their shoes and gathering their pokéballs. Sadie locked the door behind them, leaving the room silent and empty.



darkpersian479	Nov 28 2009, 08:10 PM Post #19
Posts: 4,798 Group: Forum Moderators Member #11 Joined: Sep 4, 2008	Yeah, when I was proofreading it, I didn't pay attention to the whole "coordinators can't use Pokemon Centers" thing. But since a Contest Hall would probably have their own Pokemon healing stations within it, that could make sense. Plus, in my own fic, coordinators are looked down upon by trainers and vice versa coughcoughCristinParmercoughcough XD Love how Lisa freaks out at the mere mention of a Pokemon Center Mind you, she doesn't mind healing her Pokemon there, but the rooms terrify her. Quote: but one time I had to stay in one back home Actually, since home for her is Anderson County, South Carolina, there wouldn't be any there. There were some in the region she traveled in, though (even though I spared her the horror of staying there ) Rena's mom is missing... I don't recall that in the original version, and I think it adds a bit of added suspense to the whole situation... Yet another mystery that needs to be solved. And rude hospital employee is rude. Well, I enjoyed this chapter, as it brings Lisa together with Sadie and Rena for the first time. I look forward to seeing what roles each will play as the crisis that looms over Sinnoh plays out. Till next chapter!



1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)

« Previous Topic · Fan Fiction · Next Topic »